Tom

I'll go my way if I'm going at all.

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

Phil Mitchell after taking one look at my Spotify Wrapped

[nikii🫀 @xznikii]

i genuinely cant stop laughing at this its so stupid

[trash jones @jzux]

"who hurt you?" oh my parents, the economy, rent prices, my unrealistic expectations, that weird thing i said last week, the government, do you want me to keep going

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Anxiety is so embarrassing. Oh no, I’m terrified at the farmers’ market.

[Ross Sayers @Sayers33]

You: *pronounces Bon Iver as it's written*

Most annoying guy you know, barely able to conceal his delight: what did you just say

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

one thing about me is i will absolutely buy myself a little treat after overcoming the most minor inconvenience

[didyoujustsaywig @2002scoobydoo]

🚨Kate Middleton has mysteriously cleared her Instagram account and posted 3 cryptic videos of a snake…

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Me to my boss: Hey I have to wfh today, I couldn't answer the riddles three. Yep, they didn't let me across the bridge. I'll see you on Teams though.

[Jack Edwards @jackbenedwards]

taylor swift album called the tortured poets department????? with bookmarks for merch???? and a bonus track called the manuscript????? oh i'm about to be insufferable

[Sorcha Ní Nia @Luiseach]

oh my gods what an annotation

[Grip Skylark 💕✨ @talleyberrybaby]

Therapy is not enough I need to uppercut my father

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

@bisexualiTay Where have you heard it? 😱

[Lucy @LMAsaysno]

can’t get my head around skiing holidays. going abroad to be cold and fall over? no thanks. also it’s tory

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

@markaldan Yeah, thought I was seeing things!

[The Swift Society @TheSwiftSociety]

I'm sorry to everyone who dealt with my Taylor Swift obsession in 2023. I promise 2024 is going to be MUCH WORSE

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

Had a dream I went to get a tattoo from @joelycett but he refused to give me a tattoo of a 3 eyed fish because it was a "xenophobic symbol" so he pulled out a comb and scissors and trimmed my nipple hair instead. Stop being weird, Joe.

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

@harriekd You can only do what's right for you. I know ultimately this isn't unexpected but I'm just so sorry that you're in this situation, it's so unfair. The way you've handled everything is beyond admirable and I hope you know how much you mean to so many people.

[car⸆⸉❤️‍🔥 @l0vingswiftly]

lay the table with the fancy shit

[Tom @tomnomnom91]

@harriekd I'm sorry Harrie, that sounds so frustrating and miserable 😔

[Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston]

At first I was decayed, I was putrefied,
Kept thinking I could never live without formaldehyde...