Toni Pisano

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

I don’t know why I thought I could watch The Art of Racing in the Rain. I’m no more than 3 minutes in and I’m hyperventilating.

[baggy 🥹 @plastic_baggy17]

if i ever die PleASE put my cause of death in my obituary. i am nosey AF and dont want others to suffer the way i have

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

I truly should be less surprised that I liked Jack.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

If anyone needs me I’ll be in bed eating pastina and watching Harry Potter until I am no longer sick.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

@AjayHanson Explains why in my drunken stupor last night I thought I was going to bed earlier than I was.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

@AjayHanson OF WHAT

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

I honestly love being 31 because when you pull a muscle in your back it’s just because you slept incorrectly.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

Why did Biden just fly into Cleveland at the same time as us? I’m just trying to get back to my dogs man.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

@AjayHanson I’m off, come visit!

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

Air Gun Shelly and Megan Crotch

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

“Well I don’t know what you just did to the turkey but I thought you said smashcock so I looked that up but that definitely wasn’t it.”

MOM

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

My mom just tried giving the dogs organ meat. Chip spit it out, and Olive tried rolling in it like a dead animal.

[Sour Patch Kids @SourPatchKids]

I bet you think about me

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

Now you're out in the world
searching for your soul
scared not to be hip
scared to get old.
Chasing make believe status
last time you felt free
was when none of that shit mattered
cause you were with me.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

I love you John Dutton.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

@AjayHanson I thought it was gonna be a dick pic tbh

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

“Well you know, as someone famous once said…‘Never cross a man who didn’t deserve it.”

“Mom…would that person happen to be Coolio?”
I actually cried laughing.

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

If you saw me at Trader Joe’s buying at least one of each pumpkin item…

No, you didn’t.

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

U Pussy. U really wore that trump hat too. You did a-lot of corny shit in ur career and got a pass. Bitch ass nigga apologize to Taylor swift @kanyewest

[Toni Pisano @tonipisano]

@AjayHanson “Why can’t I bring this water bottle through? I just bought it.”