tony pennance

You haven't seen me, right ?

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

@IPB_JT Spot on there JT

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

SAVE money on a gym membership by resigning yourself to a life of gluttony and sloth. (via @philswales)

[Sarah Dempster @Dempster2000]

the new tampax ad seems a touch overdramatic

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Time to undo 50,000 calories with one brisk walk.

[Justin Myers @theguyliner]

The only Christmas present I truly desire* is to never have to see the Marc Jacobs ‘Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy’ advert ever ever again

[Komedia Entertainment CAS Feed @Arthur_Strong]

Hello.

[Andrew Cotter @MrAndrewCotter]

Nearly forgot - happy birthday to the one who believes that everything can be solved by carrying a twig around.

[WWT @WWTworldwide]

You've heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for

[JLFEternal @JLFEternal]

Bloody typical, I just found this 250 million year old pink Himalayan sea-salt at the back of the pantry and it expired in 2019!

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

When I was 11 I wrote to Jimmy Savile asking to have lunch with Cyril Smith, my then MP. Didn't get selected thankfully.

[Jamie Phillips @JNPhillips4]

Plenty of good moments in the #GuinnessSixNations but pitch invader ‘Jarvo 69’ getting flattened by Twickenham security guard is undoubtedly the highlight of the weekend.

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

@SW_Help Hello, do I need to make a seat reservation to travel ?

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Biscuit?”
“Ooh I mustn’t” <eats 16 biscuits>

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Sorry, are you in the middle of lunch?”
“No I just like holding sandwiches”

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

Whenever you were the goalie as a kid, you were Gordon Banks making that save against Brazil #legend

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

@ParkingEyeLTD still trying to scam me with a claim that shows the front of my car on both entry and exit photos????

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

@ElaineWest1 @ParkingEyeLTD 2nd one in as many weeks

[tony pennance @tonypennance]

When @ParkingEyeLTD send you a letter that shows the front of your vehicle on entry and exit.