Jen

[Jen @tooch_24]

Doesn’t matter if I’m 35 still gunna say “uh I think my mom does” https://t.co/iFgdDG7I3H

[Alyssa Tweeter @alyssa_teater]

"Do you have a Starbucks card?"
"Do you have a My Kohl's Charge?"
"Do you have a Dick's ScoreCard?"
"Do you have an AE Rewards Card?"
"Do you have a My Panera card?"
"Do you have a Target Red Card?"
"Do you have a Giant Eagle Adv Card?"

19 yr old me: "Uhh.. I think my mom does."

[Jen @tooch_24]

Honestly why do people feel they need to roll their carts onto your ankles in the tjmaxx line. Back off

[Jen @tooch_24]

@jamoeeee A queen

[Jen @tooch_24]

I’ve been acting like it’s midnight since 5pm

[Jen @tooch_24]

I’m bored of waking up at 5 am for work

[Jen @tooch_24]

@ChipotleTweets you should make it so stores can refund part of your order when they run out of guac and chips, instead of telling you better luck next time #guaccostextra

[Jen @tooch_24]

Sometimes I wish you could react to people’s reactions on Facebook. Like you that just came out of the blue and love reacted my 37th picture in a post I see you

[Jen @tooch_24]

When you wear your favorite clothes the day after you clean them and then have to wait a whole laundry cycle until you can wear them again

[Jen @tooch_24]

. @netflix be like we’re going to help out your ex boyfriends, cousins, sister-in-law by making you have your own account finally

[Dev Jones @devonjonessy]

I should not be allowed in home goods

[Jen @tooch_24]

@allisonas10 This is the most real statement

[Jen @tooch_24]

My dad really just got up and left at 5 am to go get Captain Martin shrimp for tonight #blessthatman

[Jen @tooch_24]

*corey looking for a house* *me assuming all rights to decide what he buys* “is there room for a craft space and is there a good place for a Christmas tree and decorations” #chilljen

[Jen @tooch_24]

Dad cleaning lake house basement: “why do we have so many board games”
Me: you have three kids
Dad opens next cabinet: “why do we have so much booze”
Me: “again you have three kids”
Dad dies laughing

[Jen @tooch_24]

My brother just stood up and said “AHHH FUCK *as if he just messed up his whole life* .....I wanted to have chips and salsa tonight” 😂😂😂

[Jen @tooch_24]

Me any time I think about eating gluten: “is it worth getting sick for” “no”
Guy that ate a bat “is it worth getting the entire world sick for”

[Jen @tooch_24]

I really hate getting dressed in the morning because of New England weather....

[Jen @tooch_24]

In more important news just a couple old college roomies trying to remember how to use a knife to open a bottle of wine

@Meggy_Moooo @emilyy_ann13 @KaitlinKnoff

[Jen @tooch_24]

@jmoran8996 Who the fuck boils a phone? Why is this even a comparison test?

[Jen @tooch_24]

Alright social media I voted already and was always planning on voting enough with the damn reminders everywhere