Megan

[Megan @tootoorood]

@simsy1977 THEY’RE JUST SO HEALTHY

[Megan @tootoorood]

@Chena_Punim 😭 just the tip of the iceberg

[Megan @tootoorood]

@WarrenPlatts 🧐🧐

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

Me: I'm a smart and intelligent woman.

Also me: Righty-tighty, lefty loosey.

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

Teachers are heroes but I've seen them try to work an overhead projector and I don't believe they should have guns.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Friend: I signed up for a marathon!

Me: The neckline of my sweater was too heavy last night and it threw my entire back out of alignment

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

I should go to the gym tonight.

-Me, 4 beers ago

[Leanne Thornton @lkelly165]

Very true. 😂😂

[Amy Dillon @amydillon]

It's not a family vacation until someone threatens to throw a prized possession from a moving vehicle.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Me: ...and then he said, "Why would I get you something for Mother's Day? You're not MY mother."

Judge: You're free to go.

[Kalvin @KalvinMacleod]

GENIE: and for your first wish?
ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another
GENIE: holy shit!

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Husband: I'm taking the kids out!

Me: OMG OMG TIME TO MYSELF WHAT SHOULD I DO WHERE DO I EVEN START HOLY CRAP UM

Husband: Hey, we're back!

[Megan @tootoorood]

sneak peak https://t.co/fc43aKi8aS

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

My daughter was embarrassed by my fanny pack but she will realize how cool it is when she sees I had, "on fleek" embroidered on the front.

[BuzzFeed Community @BuzzFeeders]

When the teacher gives everyone from the group project an A but you did all the work https://t.co/st65ojb8ja

[Bunmi Laditan @HonestToddler]

You can see in his eyes that he wants to dip them in ranch.

[Megan @tootoorood]

@Traci2831 is that you?? https://t.co/aRJ4qDGYsJ

[Leanne Thornton @lkelly165]

Good effort 👏🏻👏🏻 https://t.co/IDRW97saQt