[me getting caught in a lie at a party] I didnt say he owned one I said he worked there
[guy putting his drink down] no no you said your uncle owned a KFC
Tom: Hi
Me: Hey Tom, you old son of a bitch, you old SOB, you aged illegimate offspring of a female cur, you bastard whoreson
Tom: So my mom's been pretty sick
Me: Oh no, please give Barbara my best