Travis Orcutt

You know how it goes

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

A large part of me Hopes fred Willard is actually hiding under the house and it took space force to subtly call it out.. love ya fred

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@tendydangler Funky bunch, marky mark

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

People think im crazy just because i like to add a dash of milk to every glass of water i drink

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

I want to get a three legged dog purely based on the fact that i would name it tippy

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

I like the Luke Cage show on netflix for the music they put in it. Great variety and some soulful tunes

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

I was at the lake last weekend and saw a kid dunking another kid... it looked like he was struggling... so i helped him finish the job

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

I got fired from my last job for having sexual relations with my clients... i was a horse whisperer

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@Thor_Halvorson @Jake_Somrock Zzz

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@Thor_Halvorson @Jake_Somrock ZzZz

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

So thankful for my job and its little perks... its not every day you get to strip for a 60 + bachelorette party and just know you're making their golden years just a little bit better

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

My fuck-shit stack is getting low.. i gotta start taking shits and stop giving fucks

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

#NewProfilePic

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

Her: i need help with this garbage...
Me: i would be your therapist but i only sleep with my patients

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

Im a little upset at my pop predictive text that hakuna was not immediately followed up with matada. What are we, savages?

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@Thor_Halvorson I prefer to piss on toddlers and throw the snake on the cactus but to each is own lol

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@Thor_Halvorson you would not believe the shit i caught for that one lol

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

Apparently it was super inappropriate to do jazz hands at the conference for Parkinson's awareness.

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

Anybody up for an awkward experience at summer camp this year?

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

@thebuss06 Little dude gonna be as cool as his papa:)

[Travis Orcutt @torcutt44]

I cant eat kabobs because by the time i get to the end of the stick its poking my fuckin tummy