Tori

[⛄ @ragIngescapIst]

to think that emily fumbled alfie and will surely fumble marcello in future over that sauceless manchild gabriel is sending me over the edge 😭 #EmilyInParis
https://t.co/JNf5y6NagZ

[Benny James @Beno_ldn]

No, Gary from Blackpool with 1 GCSE, two brain cells and three teeth, Dr Ahmed the surgeon did not steal your job.

[cats being weird little guys 👅 @weirdlilguys]

wanna boop his lil nose so bad

[Bab'Zulu🎺 @Just_Zulu]

"When I was at your age, I survived a pandemic and didn't leave my house for 2 years. You'll be ok if you don't go out tonight"

🤣 We finally have a line to use for future kids

[B 🦋 @isabellayonce]

Boy math is being afraid of gold diggers when you only have 3 pairs of socks to your name.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

me in public listening to other peoples conversations which is obviously none of my business:

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Today I learned that aggressive baby goats have to wear horn noodles to avoid hurting each other

[The Road Jess Travelled @JessPected]

No one is suggesting they could fight a bear. They're saying bears don't pretend they're not bears. Bears don't rape women. People believe victims were attacked by bears. We don't shame people for being afraid of bears. And when a bear attacks a person, we euthanize it.

[grant🪐 @grantmeaglizzy]

i cannot believe my frontal lobe is fully developed. like this is it for the rest of my life lol i’m so fucked.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Easter plans:

-Have a quick tidy
-Mow lawn (unless it rains, which is likely)
-Do big shop
-Possible traffic jam
-Shoddy DIY for 10 minutes
-Hide some chocolate
-Find the chocolate
-Eat the chocolate
-Feel a bit sick
-Get stressed cooking a big thing for family
-More chocolate
-Brisk walk to reverse 50,000 calories
-Lie down
-Watch any old film that’s on normal telly, probably be Indiana Jones or a Bond film
-Change the oven clock
-Keep thinking Monday is Sunday
-Back to work to tell everyone you had a quiet one

#BankHoliday

[☔ @Whotfismick]

everytime money leaves my bank account because i’ve spent it

[Jenni @hashjenni]

the retirement age needs to be lowered to 23 because i’ve had enough

[chi @ChiThukral]

i think leap day should be a internationally observed holiday - you’re telling me we get an extra day every FOUR years and we have to work?? that doesn’t sit right w me

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Baby turtles in a variety of colours and patterns

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Next week is still January bro.. how many months does this month have

[trash jones @jzux]

it was the best of times (getting my paycheck) it was the worst of times (doing my job)

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Seal accidentally scares baby polar bear

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

After months and months of January, it’s the 12th of January.

[Goblin Moder @mischiefanimals]

me sowing and then reaping