Total Teacher Move

Providing a Free Inappropriate Public Education to YOUR kids.

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@bdmcclay Loved this piece so much. “When someone has the temerity to look beautiful and try to get something out of it, we’re tempted to punish them.” It’s a lose-lose. Even for these accomplished contestants.

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There comes a time in the day when the awareness of your control top tights becomes unbearable.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but you’re not actually spending your day off tomorrow grading papers, quit lying to yourself, sis.

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Me coming to the realization that my classroom will never look like all the teacher IG and YouTube accounts I follow, no matter how many fonts I download.

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I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% already exhausted and it’s only September.

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A 26.2 sticker except it’s for the number of times I had to repeat the directions.

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The Purge, but instead you get to answer parent emails the way you really want to.

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Me on the way to work: I'm honestly going to be so positive today.

Me 13 seconds in class: WHAT PART OF SIT DOWN DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND

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When you give a student multiple fair warnings and then follow through with an appropriate consequence.

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You can honestly wear pajamas pants and a tube top to work as long as you put a denim jacket over it.

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Me in PD taking photos of slides I'll never look at again.

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Put your hand down.

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THIS. 🙌

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He said, "Do you love me?"
I tell him, "Only partly."

I only love my class and my Flair pens, I'm sorry.
🍎

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Me: "OK I already watched everything on my DVR, let me grade these papers I've been putting off"

Also me: *gets sucked into SVU marathon*

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@DarthMaulMommy Also, there were only like, 6 of them total. And they did really quality work.

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Is it just me, or was grading papers way more fun when my Barbies and stuffed animals were the ones turning in assignments?

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Dear Parents,
Please stop giving us shitty candles, Walmart bath sets, and ugly, cheap coffee mugs with hot cocoa mix inside. Gift cards or wine only please.
Merry Christmas,
Teachers 🍎

[Total Teacher Move @totalteachrmove]

yeah sex is cool, but have you tried flipping the sides of a binder clip down on a stack of freshly graded papers? 🍎