Mallory Bass

but the logic of fairy tales was that there was no logic

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@pinball_muggle It’s the Lisa Frank stationary and sticker for me

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@markintime @pinball_muggle

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@justme_rod It’s the not wearing a mask for me

[Chad Opitz @chadopitz]

I'm a little suspicious of the new maid they just hired for the White House

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@pinball_muggle Salad Fridge Cleanout

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@justme_rod I stand as far back from the train platform edge as possible

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@pinball_muggle I’m making the $600 my entire retirement fund. Should keep me set for .005 years

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Girls don’t want boyfriends, girls just want cheap midcentury modern furniture

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@AlexG1348 I went to high school with Gordon!

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

We did it, @JoeBiden.

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@pinball_muggle Of course he does. Men with interactive maps know all things including counties in Georgia

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@pinball_muggle Just looked and it’s disappointingly a no. I would buy the shit out of that

[Eve Cornwell @Evecornwell]

me: i have so much to do i really need to start my work

also me: creates a video where my dog stars as dolly parton

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

I unlocked $15 Rush tickets for #BillyElliotPMT at @PorchlightMT on @TodayTix! Learn more here: https://t.co/Qhs24OJn5i #TodayTixRush

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@AlexG1348 @vjw4306 I hope so!! https://t.co/i3pcgb6oVp

[Zach Kornfeld @korndiddy]

I didn't think it was possible, but after this Super Bowl, and after this election...

Dear god Corrine is gonna win The Bachelor isn't she

[Pete Blackburn @PeteBlackburn]

“DAMMIT BILL YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO BRUNCH"

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@vjw4306 I'm so excited! We will have to go!!

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@Jhegges on a scale of 1 to a million years, relatively, you aren't that much younger than him.

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@ARCanada89 @AlexG1348 @vjw4306 Did you guys make a bet??

[Mallory Bass @tourguidebarbi]

@AlexG1348 @ARCanada89 Birds. #loseindians