♒︎❤︎︎

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

Just realized it's going to be so hard to hide that I'm pregnant in that first trimester because by the third time I go to dinner or a bar with friends and don't get a martini or some frou frou cocktail, they're gonna be like 🫵🏾

[Ray Mond @AmberRayz]

when you finally understand that it didn't work because you would have hated that life

[Eren @erenfromtargets]

when the school was short on rent they used to let us wear jeans for $2 on Friday

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

Just to be clear, if my child goes out with y’all and y’all return and my child is nowhere to be found, and there’s no answer in sight, your moms are going to be just as sad as I am.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[SigNal🥷 @WeDontTrustyoo]

That first night in your own bed after a trip just hits differently

[♡ @rxuxtxh]

Elmo issues official apology to the @nyknicks

[C O R Y I A @ccprettyass]

I get drunk &’ get bold asf ! I said can u come fuck me !!!!

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Elmo teach me not to eat trophy. Me teach Elmo to pick a team. 💙🧡

[Softboy @softboywin]

I’m deleting Apple Maps that shit be tryna take you to the cartel

[ness 🍇 @nessasleone]

i feel soooo bad for people who have the cilantro tastes like soap gene

[ree @rreenaissance]

a face that should’ve been everywhere

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

10:30 is a ridiculous time to stop selling breakfast fr.

[• @yducknow]

How fast I be running back to question 2 after question 5 snitches on the answer

[Big Momma @AHaitianMermaid]

Always on that phone w that man

[katie @katiebandz_]

Y’all abbreviating words that have never been abbreviated before.

[Anayiah da coolest 🪭 @dontmindanayiah]

@222badd I’ll go through that man’s ass I never gaf.

[Kia🅱️ @_KiaBiaaa]

Fast forwarding pass the singing >>>

[Jani Gem 🌶 @Jani__Gee]

That man is robbing us blind.
It hasn’t even been 2 full years.
By the time his term is finished, the US will have $4, no schools, no healthcare, no water, no clean air, no food, no economy, no chance lmao.

Just police officers, cancer, and AI data centers.

[kk❦ @claudvneuman]

one episode left of the season and i’m still waiting on victoria neuman to return

[And IT STILL WILL NEVER BE YOU @_PhallonX0X0]

Motherhood was never my fear the wrong daddy was lmaooo