emily lindfors

here to start my meme busness

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

hey, listen. im not a vegetarian i am not scared of u

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

im just here for the backrubs

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

men be like “i wanna spend the rest of my life w you. youre the one im gonna marry ur the love of my life” but in reality he’s just the reason u end up going to therapy

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

she’s a 10 but she will. not. stop. yellin. PIGGY DIPPIN. piggie dippin at tha piggie pond. NAWH u went sausage swimmin in the water bowl you dipped dem fat lil toes in dhere. chubbah bun

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

i know this is the worst timeline bc for some ungodly reason there is an entire subpopulation of middle aged people running around being very loud about how much they love the minions nd i dont see a single person talking about it

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

@sweetxcinn hehe which one

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

my love languange is words of affirmation for my wretched goblin ways

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

*knows a place* [it’s taco bell]

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

if u see me drinking red bull after 8pm it is a warning

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

(1/2) i approach a lonesome stranger at the bar. “they told me you would be here” i say. they will look confused. i hand them a piece of paper written with runic symbols that make absolutely no sense bc i do not know how to write in runes

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

(2/2) i say “the steady drip is worse than a drenching rain. he takes the oath of office each march” or somethjng like that. i take take their drink and leave

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

@sweetxcinn OMG NO I REMEMBER THOSE

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

@sweetxcinn i swear2god tho literally lmao or u could get a juul or smth! 🙃

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

*gets stabbed* oh haha so u wanna make out later

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

mega chomby

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

she’s a 10 but she hyper-fixates on bears

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

he’s a 10 but he won’t get a vasectomy

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

@kvlt_kreep583 A 20 IN MY BOOK

[emily lindfors @trashflavrdtrsh]

*swoons violently*