Trey Drude

[Trey Drude @treydrude]

@KennyLSU

[Kenny B @KennyLSU]

Still deciding if this was a good idea or not #WillTheBatteriesDieAlready

[Trey Drude @treydrude]

@KennyLSU how long till he hits Parker?

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

You guys following Kevin McCallister's snapchat? This kid has been straight up terrorizing two homeless men all Christmas Eve.

[Dan Fleyshman @danfleyshman]

This cat is the Grinch!😼😈

[Rand Paul @RandPaul]

If you only celebrate Festivus, enjoy today and I hope you win the feats of strength later. I've been practicing...

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Traffic is driving me nuts. Am going to build a tunnel boring machine and just start digging...

[Scott Van Pelt @notthefakeSVP]

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Even you lunatics who put the stuffing in the turkey and eat that nasty, soggy nonsense.

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

Dear America,
Passions will run high 2nite
Please take the high road & embrace ur fellow citizens no matter the outcome🇺🇸
#AllInThisTogether

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

Wow, that didn't even feel like 12 hours. #debatenight

[Nick Swardson @NickSwardson]

Congrats to the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table. It's basically everywhere now.

[Natasha Leggero @natashaleggero]

How do I get my mom to stop saying "delish"?

[Jacques Doucet @JacquesDoucet]

Here's Ashley, the girl who got it in the face with the kickoff. She's a great sport and is ok. #LSU

[Arby’s Provocateur @SamGrittner]

My parrot died today. Its last words were, "Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die."

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

"Let our powers combine! EARTH!" "FIRE!" "WIND!" "WATER!" ".........I lost my ring." "AGAIN?!? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"

[Howard Stern @HowardStern]

Teeth are perfect for chewing #Forwhatitsworth

[Blake Anderson @UncleBlazer]

Everybody had an opinion on the Durant move but I didn't hear a peep about this lil "can you hear me now" Verizon dude Sprint flip flop

[BORED @BoredElonMusk]

Minority Report Food Delivery.

[BORED @BoredElonMusk]

Pants that switch keys to pocket on the other side when they recognize you're holding a million grocery bags in the wrong hand.