Catrina

💗 Be kind but with spine !

[The Dank Knight 🦇 @capeandcowell]

This is how you create vigilantes

[Catrina @trinadani]

@libsoftiktok @officedepot @officedepot You need to buy a dictionary for your biased employees so they can look up the definition of the word propaganda.

[Catrina @trinadani]

The time I spend preparing my house so my robot vacuum can run without getting stuck and sending me “stuck on a cliff” messages, I could have just ran the regular vacuum! But it gives me the illusion of efficiency! #firstworldproblems

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Midwest peer pressure is when your neighbor just mowed their lawn and you now have 24 hours to respond

[Catrina @trinadani]

Happy Easter !

[Catrina @trinadani]

I wondered when I would know I was officially “old”. I just turned down the radio to look for a street. #officiallyold #genx

[Catrina @trinadani]

3rd notice that “by law” I must do my census survey. I logged on & was only given 2 choices for my sex & wanted the ethnicity of my ancestors. What about how I identify ? I am literally shaking from their hate & insensitivity!

[Catrina @trinadani]

Day 1 of no sugar soda, Red Bull or sweet tea! What am I supposed to drink , water ? 💀 #day1ofalittlelessjoy

[Catrina @trinadani]

Engineers that decided roundabouts made roads safer have to be punking us! Drivers can barely figure out 4 way stops but we thought making people yield and drive in circles was a good idea ? #roundaboutsarehotgarbage #justsayno

[Catrina @trinadani]

If my 18 yr old self, could see what my 51 yr old self wore to make a run to Lowe’s , they would have had tried to figure out what life changes they needed to make so this really never happened . #gettingoldhasitsperks

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

*drops below 60°*

Midwesterners:

[Catrina @trinadani]

@ConceptualJames Chicago? They can’t get people to quit committing murder ! They think the same people are going to quit eating meat and dairy ? This had to be a high school science project & we are acting like it’s brilliant idea, like the paper straw nonsense !

[Catrina @trinadani]

@PunishDem1776 Hvh is uhhh

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

When a Midwesterner buys something at a significant discount it’s important to deflect any compliments about the item and explain how cheap it was

[Catrina @trinadani]

@braxton_mccoy They will register your gardens so they know who has food in “troubling” times. BUT most counties use drones to asses real estate taxes. They already know if you have a greenhouse or a garden etc. Might as well take advantage of what is available !

[Catrina @trinadani]

@curtis715474 I get it from my Dad 😂

[Catrina @trinadani]

Many people find giant dogs scarier than the small yapping dogs ! FYI, one of my Danes just spent 5 min barking at the kids chair my neighbors set at the curb w/their trash. #greatdanes #scaredycats

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Fun things to do in the Midwest

- admire road work
- play “dodge that deer”
- hang out in the Walmart parking lot
- one finger wave to your “neighbor”
- run through the corn
- experience 4 seasons in 4 hours
- drive around for fun
- watch a storm roll in
- drive around for fun (again)

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Midwestern Units of Measurement:

Next door = 500 feet - 3 miles
A couple minutes away = 5-10 miles
Up North= hand gesture north-ish
Just up the road = 10-20 miles
Not too far = 45 minutes
A lil’ ways = over an hour
Pretty good drive = 2 hours+
Drive down there = literally anywhere

[Catrina @trinadani]

One of the dogs got stressed when my husband did her nails she 💩 in the hallway. We found it after the robot vacuum had spread it over the living-room .Luckily we have laminate floors and our rug is a @Ruggable ! #greatdanes #happysaturday