火曜日 (Tuesday)

(anonymous venting), not Asian just studied Japanese for a little while

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

Jackie Chan accidentally getting stuck inside a gorilla costume and then having to fight off 100 guys

[火曜日 (Tuesday) @tsdcx]

@snufkinsmelody @RuinedPodcast

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

On the bright side, I've never felt more qualified than literally every single member of an administration and whatnot.

[火曜日 (Tuesday) @tsdcx]

@EthelCardew3 @Simpsons_tweets @Criminalsimpson Season 2 best season

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Shout out to the top 5 ears in the world, play it by, Cape F, objects in mirror are closer than they app, Leap Y, and Norman L.

[alexandra scaggs @alexandrascaggs]

our cultural obsession with STEM education was a mistake

[Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc @JasonKPargin]

Will this be our legacy? Cranking our hogs while the world burns down around us? Cranking our hogs until all is reduced to ash, including the very hogs we are cranking? Can we not aspire to greater than this, friends, to something greater than the cranking of our smoldering hogs?

[Aidan Regan @Aidan_Regan]

In the future, historians will look back and study how extremely wealthy oligarchs managed to convince so many people that the "elite" are liberals with university degrees that are sensitive to the feelings of minorities.

[Narrated President @NarratedPOTUS]

An infamous grifter is inaugurated once again as the 47th President of the United States.

[Noor ✭ @Noorthevirgo]

tried journaling today

[popular loner🚶🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️ @milkyy_tweets]

Would never lend a polycule money. Cuz u mean to tell me, together between all of them, they still can’t get their money up…? Apply for a PPP loan

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Starting your most incoherent sentence with "put simply" to deflect blame onto the reader

[yammi @sighyam]

I thought this was Greenland

[blaire erskine @blaireerskine]

just woke up in a cold sweat screaming “WHY DIDN’T HAWK TUAH GIRL CALL IT SPITCOIN”

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Great title for a declaration

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

Thank god I grew up with stuffing because if I’d never heard of it before and someone showed up to my house as an adult with wet bread and celery casserole my first instinct would be to beat their ass.

[☆ ★ @imfynerthanfyne]

thought daughter

[n/a @dontatmeflop]

"Wicked... how about all this wickedness happening in the United States" - my aunt rn