Tristan Carter

Live. Laugh. Love. ❤️

[Tristan Carter @turdstan2007]

@androgynator What the heck are u talking about there’s nothing wrong with his vocals

[Tristan Carter @turdstan2007]

@TimmyTiberius10 @SpinninBackfist Bro he might actually get murdered in this fight 😭😭

[🦅 @Worpa_]

Ordered pickup instead of delivery

[mippy @sillymippy]

I did this bit too early it seems

[JJ 💮 @4tsp0on]

woke up 15 mins b4 my alarm

[dylan🇵🇸 @fountinsofwayne]

Steve Jobs died and we all lost our jobs, Johnny Cash died and we all lost our cash, please god don’t let Bob Dylan die

[The People's MMA 🦈 @ThePeoplesMMA]

No nonsense my ass.

You're not slick Keith...

#UFC330

[Tristan Carter @turdstan2007]

@SpinninBackfist That’s straight gore how could u post this

[sb 🗽🏆 @NlGGASTFU]

You gone start beating your shit in the theater or some? wtf does this mean lmao

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

“So the blood will be there.”

[joey sweet @Power0verSpice]

@Variety He took that first sip and started spitting bull shit #getthisguybackinAA

[Tristan Carter @turdstan2007]

@qpe Definitely Billy Q 🙏🏼

[𝙈𝙧𝙕𝙚𝙙💫 @spinitbackzed]

MJ after reading peters letter: "i dont love you Peter"

Ned after just dapping Peter once:

[𝔃𝓪 @SteeIDick]

one pec fly machine in the whole gym and you got someone’s fuckin unc doing 17 sets of the most useless shit for an hour straight

[owen @owenvpatnaude]

awesome blocking here 👍

[brandon* @brndxix]

👀

[Tristan Carter @turdstan2007]

@SleazeHammer @BlindBearMedia Rda 😭😭 shouldn’t bro be retired

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

You think I won’t eat dat too? Lmaoooo

[hazel norwood @wreckette]

nolan can’t write for shit. for instance, in interstellar he completely misses the very obvious opportunity to have matthew mcconnaughey say “they keep getting older and i stay the same age”

[Jeff Giesea @jeffgiesea]

When I was in my twenties and new to DC, I was at a cocktail party when someone brought up The Odyssey. Thinking I was being impressive, I recited the opening passage from memory. Another guy nodded in acknowledgement, then recited the same passage in Ancient Greek. I've been one-upped many times, but never so elegantly.