🦖 The Best Boy 🦖

Screaming into the void since 1998. Married to @the_baba_nasty, despite having gorilla eyes. He/him.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

me reading your tweets

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@ManceRayder2020 Me too!

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Breaking Twitter exile (fuck you Elon, it's not called X, screw you) to let y'all know that my house was in the part of Sulphur that didn't get hit. No power and can't get to the other side of town (which looks post-apocalyptic right now) at all, but we remain upright.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Also also also, after failed attempts to unstick cars and other non air-conditioned shenanigans, I am completely sweaty and covered in mud from the ankles down.
...And the water just got turned off.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

UPDATE: Still no power, but now we have cell service without having to drive half an hour away for it. Also, my car is stuck in the mud that was once my driveway. Also also, lololol I forgot to mnetion we're literally on vacation right now.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@badtracking That and 99.99999999% of the time, it's a "some places way out on the outskirts of town sustained light damage" situation, as opposed to your town being in CNN or whatever.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@badtracking Yeah, at this point I've had to just stop paying attention to what downtown looks like, for my own sanity. I've pretty much spent my entire life in Tornado Alley, but this is my first time dealing with an actual direct hit.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@OldAlexinTucky sir, this is a Wendy's

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Breaking Twitter Edge to post this @_raven_mack_ @T2000000000

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

*taps on the tweet*

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Every bizarre, self-destructive decision that breaks Twitter a little more each time makes a lot more sense when you remember that Lowtax Mk. II bought this place basically just to get revenge on it.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

I was already planning on at least severely limiting my twitter use for reasons, but now that the electric car nazi finally made his place completely ususable, if you need to get in touch, you can find me in your heart.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@kthorjensen He literally bought twitter to get revenge on twitter

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

lol I picked a good time to drastically reduce my twittering activities, I guess

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@VRTLPROS My favorite thing is when they act like that shit is Mick Foley transitioning from loveable Commissioner Foley to Cactus Jack, when it's basically like the I Think You Should Leave safari flap fedora guy as an edgy teen, except he's also like 58 years old.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@crushkillcrush Sadly, the one time I slid nearly to my death, the internet was out and nothing was saved

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Having one of those lil doorbell cameras is triggering to me, because now there is endless footage of me walking out the door, fully illustrating what an absolute goddang lummox I am, just a big ol' lumbering galoot.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@HarpoGarza

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@metaltxt I still think it's hilarious that Maus getting banned from a school library for being mean to nazis raised enough interest in it for it to be briefly available to buy at the Walmart in Sulphur-ass Oklahoma.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

Shoutout to all the dudes out there, still walking down the hallways of their job while doing the lil whistle from Kill Bill, just *knowing* that all their coworkers find them mysterious as all hell now.

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

@IwriteOK A recompression chamber, like some sort of Play-Doh mold

[🦖 The Best Boy 🦖 @turrible666]

See, what I would have done differently is to NOT implode.