andrew perry

yeah...nar

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

I burned the roof of my mouth real good on hot sticky rice.

It blistered pretty much straight away and popped soon after.

Then I sneezed and the skin pocket blew up like a airbag.

There's a first time for everything

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Voice-to-text shopping lists are the best shopping lists.
Points for full translation

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@Ashas_UK @farooqui_nouman much better with @RealBobMortimer in it

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Modern life challenges #237:
kinda like to take a shit but my battery's dead

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Best Trump parody I've seen. SNL could learn at thing or two about comedy writing from this guy.
Setup/punchline masterclass https://t.co/F4nzGBjol8

[Pablo Rochat @PabloRochat]

Pigeon Jazz 🎶

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

jigsaw purchase fitting for the times

[KurtWestcott @KurtWestcott]

Taskmaster 2020: Daily Tasks to Survive Social Distancing

Day 4 Task: Hidden Smiley - Find a Smiley Face - most hidden/surprising smiley wins!

Materials needed: Anything
Task starts: Anytime today
Task ends: End of day (9pm EDT)
Submit: Picture reply before 9pm
#TMKurt2020

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Ah Matt. Well played sir. So train guy's name is Dick?

[bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer]

Train Guy .. Geoff Linton virtual F2F

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Ahh Bob, you little gem

[bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer]

Train Guy... Phil Collins Tickets

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@realDonaldTrump Pls replace
Wise: having or showing the ability to make good judgments, based on a deep understanding and experience of life
With..
wiseguy: obnoxiously conceited and self-assertive person with pretensions to smartness or cleverness

And/or wiseguy 2: member of a criminal gang

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

tossing up with posting either:

was never a fan of @realDonaldTrump but color me sold...what a genuine, sincere, heartfelt message.

or

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man
What a mighty good man
A mighty mighty good man
say it again....

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

They are trying to stop ME, because I am fighting for YOU!

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@emilynussbaum Sly and the Family Stone "It's a Family of Hair" In my defense...they were

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@matthk It's all a bit silly on both sides. Spurious data. Random pseudo blather.
I am I intersted, though, in what the vegans plan to do with all the meat beasts when we stop eating them...can we at least come to a last meal/supper agreement😊

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@matthk @CaseyNewton way more upset about how the fucker is wearing his sunnies.

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

Bangkok: Giant Swing https://t.co/kjdYN9HrUw

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@zandywithaz ,,

[andrew perry @twitbuTTer33]

@frankieboyle dear zz