evan

the mcrib is back

[evan @twittelessevan]

kinda stupid that our enitre galaxy is named after a candy bar

[evan @twittelessevan]

Is @althepaI still alive? Does anyone know?

[evan @twittelessevan]

The One Where Ross Gets Influenza and Dies

[sam ? @thisbicthdied]

being Filipino is so nuts.. I have a cousin whose legal name is Karl Marx

[dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch]

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early

astronaut: moon's haunted

nasa employee: what?

astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

[evan @twittelessevan]

@Saulcialist_ https://t.co/DV5FXJ6aHa

Yes

[Saulcialist 🌘 @Saulcialist]

I actually agree that Vallas is probably favored. I think Johnson makes it close but it ends up around Puppy's predicted margin, 52-48 Vallas.

[evan @twittelessevan]

@oatmilkmaid69 no.

[wint @dril]

IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

[evan @twittelessevan]

@oatmilkmaid69 *intolerant

[evan @twittelessevan]

@god_of_Flannel Let's goooo

[evan @twittelessevan]

@btwatkins They're really pushing for it

[evan @twittelessevan]

The audacity of this student

[evan @twittelessevan]

@evRahe @jordynary_ He's wasted on cross country. Everyone knows dwarves are natural sprinters

[brent @murrman5]

*shipwrecked diary*
Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab
Day 2: I have married the crab.
Day 3: I have eaten my wife.

[Adrenalin @adrenalindenver]

*watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

me: [lighting fireworks] are you ready

uber driver: for what

[evan @twittelessevan]

@Patriotantileft @NatGeo Oooh, i liked the rant against the Chicago Teacher's Union more. It had more fire. More anger. This is fin i guess

[evan @twittelessevan]

@Patriotantileft @Chicityteach @DaytonaRoth @CTULocal1 My favorite thing about Twitter is watching angry idiots screaming and swearing into the void. Please do continue. This is my crack.

[evan @twittelessevan]

@jordynary_ Underrated song overall

[evan @twittelessevan]

@JR_AngelRN @CTULocal1 Jesus christ, when did twitter become a place for insufferable people

[evan @twittelessevan]

@mattwhitlock @CTULocal1 That is to say, keep trying. I think you could do some real good if you put the pettiness aside

[evan @twittelessevan]

@mattwhitlock @CTULocal1 Teachers are heroes Matt. They serve society more than you ever will or could ever hope to.