Turnt Wooldridge

Husband, father, Razorback fan. Condiment afficion--, affici--... condiment lover. Has never seen Goonies.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

Day 4 of this hostage crisis and Wolf Blitzer just felt the need to tell us how many electoral votes are needed to win.

Motherfucker I know the name of the registrar in Clark County, Nevada, how to pronounce every town in Georgia, and where every Republican in Arizona lives.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@daveweigel @aravosis in general, nobody should be glib about their work.

But in the specific, the entirety of the GOP has, to a person, followed the lead of the president by trolling and threatening Democrats from every level of power within federal politics for a decade.

so spare us. Please.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@galyonkin @chicagobars “The elves would be replaced with QR codes” is my new vocal stim, thanks!

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@RazorSaints Yeah. You can’t cover up not having a QB. It’s a non-negotiable.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

Silverfield: it’s on me. I take resp-

WE KNOW ITS ON YOU. WE’D LOVE TO BLAME ONLY YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS PREPARATION, STAFF, AND GAME
MANAGEMENT, BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU WERE HIRED BY A MAN WHO IS SOMEHOW WORSE AT HIS JOB THAN YOU ARE AT YOURS, SO SIT TIGHT & WE’LL BE WITH YOU SOON

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@DavidGDaniel This is the week it’s going to click!

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

Fuck this entire godforsaken program.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

Change your socks, Hogs. They’re soaked with piss.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

If Auburn wins we should let the students throw Cramsey up in that fucking tree

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

uh, a Senate seat?

[NOLA.com @NOLAnews]

Mississippi’s US Senate race separated by 43 votes. What’s at stake for Colom, Hyde-Smith? https://t.co/gvh9EZOAef

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

lmao Maker just ball screened for Miikka for a 23 footer 😂

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@ClayTravis @jonfavs If you voted for Obama twice and Trump three times, you sure as fuck didn’t stay static. What’s more accurate is that you shrewdly deducted that there is simultaneously no limit to and no bottom for the right wing grievance attention economy, and you could become very very rich.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

JJ and Billy: first player to give themselves rhabdo wins the Hustle Award

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@mitchesbritches That was a banger

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

These turnovers are Mika me crazy

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@umichvoter spend 1hr max on Bourbon St. 2 days in the French Quarter. One day in the Garden District. Book a walking tour of the FQ or Garden Dist with 2 Chicks Walking Tours. Chargrilled Oysters at Felix's.

When someone bets you they know where you got dem shoes, you got dem on yo' feet.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

@washingtonpost I hear Trent Crimm is available.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

You love to see Vandy on your schedule.

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

roll the southpaw QB to the right and have him throw to the flat where the only chance for success is leading the receiver perfectly.

I’m not sure Cramsey possesses the logic to win at tic-tac-toe

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

I just wanna know if Quincy is able to get off the mat yet 😂

[Turnt Wooldridge @twooldridge]

If someone doesn’t tell him to take that ugly fucking hat off his head, goddamn