Stanley Yelnats

Who told you to put them jeans on?

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[Trick Forever @khiazmos]

I like Hunter Biden because he isn’t one of those guys that gets sober and then pretends being a degenerate isn’t insanely fun

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

If I go to heaven when I die, it will be a smoky bar that plays the Night Moves album on repeat and always serves Miller Lite in frosty mugs. If I go to hell, it’ll be one of those airport escalator walkways where everyone stands still like it’s a ride

[lewis @Lewiswbt1]

(Mark Wahlberg listening to the Monster Mash) if it had been me working in that lab late that night it wouldn't have went down like it did

[Andrew Hilary🇵🇸 @AndrewHilaryUS]

They should do a season of The Pitt that takes place on the same day as when Bane blew up Heinz field

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

@ThePoniExpress The Jim Cramer of sports strikes again

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

Salvationmaxxer Christvicular gets brutally crucifixionmogged by Judea Frat Leader in front of foids send tweet

[Gene Parmesan @dsonoiki]

unironically believe “the boys are back in town” is one of the best example of good songwriting

the song begins in medias res. it presumes the listener already knows about the boys and the town

also everyone can relate to the song. everyone knows boys who leave town and return

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

@AmQuizzle @Buccigross Puck knower

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

@marcroberge 2005

https://t.co/9wh6AlKkpP

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

The Gales of November 🤝 Me
Coming Early

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

He sings the words “Johnstown Flood” and there’s a scene where he makes a gal cum - Deliver Me From Nowhere is a masterpiece

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

@coachjfranklin I’ll see you in hell

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

All things considered, Jason Street handled being crippled and watching his smokin’ hot girlfriend get fucked out by his hunky moron best friend remarkably well

[UFC @ufc]

Rest in peace.

Charlie Kirk, 1993 - 2025.

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

Chris Boswell is a first ballot hall of
famer

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

@DCheverere Why is no one talking about Amy’s brother being named Bradley Bradley?

[googling 'kiedis point break' during tinder date @irishloubega]

sweet caroline was already one of the worst songs ever, but people adding that unnecessary "so good! so good!" really cements as an all-time Imbecile Anthem

[Stanley Yelnats @tyler_azar]

You’re telling me these pants have elastic waistbands AND promote eugenics?? Sign me the fuck up