I'm Going To Become A Monkey

watch his skillful little hands manipulating the walnut | I write sometimes

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@allamericanrube ah but have you considered that a young liberal woman I instructed the computer to imagine is upset by it??? checkmate.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

someone clearly hasn't seen NON-STOP (2014).

[BoiltOwl @nealjclark1]

You know that culture is dead because no one successfully reckons with phones in film and literature. It’s like having westerns without the railroad. Phones and phone culture should be what 90% of movies and books are about.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

there's ~3 years between New Hope and Empire. we're expected to believe in that time the Rebels managed to domesticate a whole new previously undiscovered species to the point they could train them to carry riders.

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

Give me your best Star Wars nitpicks. No reasonable criticisms or analysis, I'm talking real pedantic here.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@Voorishguy I wanna make a porno where the soundtrack is that kind of bluesy bar rock from 80s cops movies. plenty of boogie woogie piano and alto sax.

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

there is currently an epidemic of sitcoms where the actors are too pretty

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@dawsferatu I'm so sorry for my generation's part on keeping this pig turd floating in the cultural retention pond.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

quite bad enough that the French named everything in my part of the country in their hideous oinking language. luckily the Indians whooped their asses and they left.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

think how much worse things could've been. world-historical bullet dodged.

[Brilliant Maps @BrilliantMaps]

Maximum Extent of French Territory in North America

https://t.co/zfmX3jDGBM

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@gwenergyreigns

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

not gonna be in today boss. yup. I had the "pooping live bugs" dream again.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

fuck me I thought mental health awareness month would never end. feels so good to suppress and stigmatize again.

[hyperreal🦈sharl @sharlful]

grasslands is like backrooms for nature

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

happy In-Season Apricots to all who celebrate!

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

rode my bike 60 miles to see this.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

you may be skeptical that The Simpsons licensed its trademarked art style to a porn cessation app. but I just got off the phone with showrunner Matt Selman and he said "hell yes. porn is Jewish mind poison, quote me please, Disney and the show's staff all share my views" OK then!

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

how is "overstimulation" real like just ignore that shit. don't pay attention.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@gwenergyreigns take your maca pills and put your cock ring on

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@Voorishguy Han lookin like a guy who led an 8 month long Paraguayan junta in 1954.

[I'm Going To Become A Monkey @type___e]

@allamericanrube writing style pegs this poster as GenX so "mocha latte" snark would've been circulating heavily when he was 23 or so.