Tyler Rump

Life is uncertain.... Dont sip...

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

@JimIrsay Trax BBQ at @ScarletLaneBrew !!

[Jim Irsay @JimIrsay]

OK...20 winners, randomly chosen, and each winner receives $500 in gift certificates from the Indiana RESTAURANT of choice. Only requirement is to follow me, retweet this AND add-on the name of your restaurant of choice. Deadline tomorrow at noon ET. Alyssa's hatpick!

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

@foundersbrewing @HCGardnerd !!

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

Putt putt golf with my daughter is fun... if you like being passively trash talked by a 3 year old for an hour.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

Trying to get my three year old dressed this morning and she looks at me says “Daddy.. do you have any idea what you’re doing”.............. No Eleanor. I think the past three years have made it pretty clear that I do not, in fact, have any idea what I’m doing.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

I thought it was always just something we joked about but we’re 3 hours into this trip and my kid has asked me 184 times if we’re there yet.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

Me: Colts get the 26th pick tonight!
Silence.
Me, to my wife: Anyone care?
Silence
Me, to my sister in law: Anyone care?
Silence
Me, to my daughter: Anyone care?
My Daughter: Day care!?

I walk alone.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

If my 3 year old looks at me and says “okie dokie artichokie!”, does that count as a serving of vegetables for the day? Grasping at straws here. #carbsonly

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

I think one of the tough things about being a parent is handling the swings from coming home one day and my toddler is adorable, giving me hugs and kisses and then coming home other days and she looks like Animal from the Muppets and tries to stab me with a headband.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

4 in the morning, my kid sits straight up in bed and yells, “WOULD YOU PLEASE SHOW ME THE WAY TO OUTER SPACE!!”
1. I remain jealous of my child’s dreams.
2. My kid is 200% more polite asleep than she is awake.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

How to get a death stare from the medical professional graciously caring for your pregnant wife:
Nurse to my wife: “I’m struggling with your veins here, I just don’t know where they go.”
Me:...... I’m no doctor.... but I think it’s the heart.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

The real question Im asking myself now that I have a one day old is what brewery I’ll take her to first. @ScarletLaneBrew ? @SunKingBrewing ? @TritonBrewing ? So many, need to get started.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

In a bold and somewhat defiant move tonight, my child redecorates my entire kitchen with Kix cereal - which ISNT EVEN AN EXCITING CEREAL. HAVE SOME PRIDE KID.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

@JimIrsay Joseph Addai!!

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

So somehow we now get the magazine “Sophisticated Living”.... which seems weird since I just cleaned pancake syrup off the toilet. #knowyouraudience

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

Just accidentally convinced my two and a half year old that the only reason my dogs don’t have cell phones is because they don’t have hands. Get on my level.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

And for the 10th year in a row, I’m too old for the American Music Awards.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

You think you’ve heard your kid talk a lot... until they say hi to EVERY FISH IN THE PET STORE.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

With the kiddo getting older I’m starting to think about some hard hitting life questions.. Are we raising her right? Am I saving enough for college? Am I putting enough away for my retirement? How do I get yogurt out of my brick fireplace? It’s real now.

[Tyler Rump @tyrump]

The kiddo sat up in the middle of the night & said “I need bubbles for my friends.” I only wish I dreamt that sweetly & innocently. Instead I get pulled over with my high school friends by a pro wrestler pretending to be a cop for hauling a trampoline on top of my car. Cool.