uncle esq

[૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @CBD42O]

this is so hard to explain but theres a bird in my neighborhood i have to confront

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

the five primal fears:
1. prion disease
2. being on a cruise ship
3. man walking towards you
4. toxic shock from forgotten tampon
5. spider egg sac containing thousands of baby spiders

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

someone said that cranberry juice tastes like it doesn't want to be wet & i can't stop thinking about it

[Megan Nyvold @MeganNyvold]

People in New York are like my lease ends in three days so I’m gonna go look at an apartment tomorrow

[tt✮⋆ @Bluebirdeyessss]

I love saying “sounds good” at work and dont shit sound good

[💗 @ma1ybe]

In a meeting at the office one time, this dude fully repeated something I had said almost word for word, just slightly changed. After he finished, my coworker raised her hand and said, “I don’t have anything to add, but I just wanted to point out he basically repeated exactly what Natalie said like it was his own idea.” Happy Women’s History Month to her.

[princessface @mainslayrrr]

is he fun to be around or am i fun and he’s around

[uncle esq @uncle_esq]

@smellyestanne I’m cracking upppp

[carys @addievervale]

highkey makes no sense that mel has a deposition at 3pm on saturday 4th july 2026

[miri @eggoslug]

I am not going to be a cocomelon parent. You will sit your ass down and watch aljazeera

[Hadas Weiss @weiss_hadas]

your secret is safe with me unless it’s funny

[dawn @rundry]

It's more important than ever that we all keep saying Yay

[BenDavid Grabinski @bdgrabinski]

I’d really like to see a journalist just flat out ask Trump “what the fuck is wrong with you” at some point even if it doesn’t move the needle in any concrete way.

[chase @_chase_____]

a great tip if you’re packing for a trip is to ignore all the clothes you feel comfortable in and wear on a regular basis and instead bring a long velvet skirt you’ve never worn before that’s slightly too small and doesn’t go with any of your shirts or shoes

[tia ★ @tiadeeznuts]

when you're talking to someone and you can tell they're trying out a new word

[annie @soychotic]

Coffee shops that open at 8am on work days

[possiblykimrichards @psblykimrichrds]

For the first time in my life people are younger than me