The Unicorneleon

Behind this mask I am a teacher, a mother, a #STEAM and #truamainformed enthusiast who just wants her story to be told so that others may learn.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@jtrebach Well. Darn. The octopus was my favorite animal from watching “My Octopus teacher.” And now you ruined it. Hahaha. #themoreyouknow

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Yes. I agree. But, I don’t think I look at the quote from a personal standpoint. I look at it from an outsider’s perspective. It perpetuates the “get over it because it’s over” instead of the “what happened to cause a kid to act like that?” mindset shift that I fight every day.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Except…. That’s not really how trauma works…. 😬🤷🏼‍♀️

[Dr. Linda Berman @LindaBerman4]

It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.
Paulo Coelho

#endings #closure #past

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@AlysColeKing I don’t need to be validated. Let’s start with not threatening to call crisis interven. or going behind my back, reporting me to administration. I shouldn’t have to shield my truths to be more palatable. If I have to do this deplorable existence, don’t make me fake it for you.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@drjanaway They look at me out of fear, like I’m a walking liability, and then either commit me or send me 2 certified letters. I talk they get scared. I stay silent, I suffer. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@DrDoyleSays No?! Tell that to the people who hear my internal thoughts and threaten to call crisis intervention on me. 🤷🏼‍♀️ whatever. I’m so tired of shielding myself so I’m more palatable to others.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@Maahokgit I spend all day trying to hold it in, trying not to cry, holding on to a time when I can cry. But when I can cry, in my own space, I only shed one tear at a time and then I turn it off. It’s frustrating.

[Dr Alys Cole-King @AlysColeKing]

Imagine if everyone considering suicide felt able to disclose how they felt and were then validated, believed and supported as needed

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

You weren’t responsible to be a different type of child in order to prevent the trauma you endured. You weren’t responsible to adapt to any adults demands in order for them to not hurt you. Them hurting you is, was, will always be about their character-never about your value.

[Trauma Informed Ottawa @TraumaOttawa]

It was trauma even if…

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@TraumaPhDandMe I don’t think I ever found a self. I was too busy becoming what everyone wanted me to be. dated someone who liked sushi and “liked” sushi for 4 months until we broke up. I was relieved to not have to like sushi anymore. Every choice, decision, I have to ask, “Is this for me?”

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Am I only one who hates “but there are people who care about you” speech when they do suicide risk assess. and you’re honest? Like, look, that’s part of the problem. Everyone uses me, abuses me and I don’t want to do a single second of this life. Why would that be comforting?

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

I think the bravest thing I do everyday is wake up and know to my core that I hate my life and want to die. But I shove that feeling back down where it belongs and get up and do my life anyway, hiding in plain sight. I don’t want to do any of this. But I continue to do so.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

@bellabee13 I don’t think I am even able to read that without singing it.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

This thread is amazing. Ty! I was just about to tweet about how I don’t understand- when we talk about trauma, kids needing connection, we skim over attachment styles like it doesn’t matter. But when kids don’t respond way adults want them to the first time, we label kids “bad.”

[x - The Caffeinated Therapist 🐝 @bellabee13]

With attachment/abandonment trauma stuff I think sometimes we forget a v key part of the equation. A lot of people who have been "doing the work" for awhile on that type of trauma know the importance of regulation, containment, reality-checking, and self-talk when triggered. 1/

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

🎯

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Maybe someone should tell society that they should only use this tactic with people who are self-blaming, not people pleasers. Because really, this is my only reason I stay alive. Because I created three beautiful things that contrary to popular belief, did not make me normal.

[Allen Frances @AllenFrancesMD]

I try to make self-blaming depressed patients feel guilty about #suicide:
"The burden you are to others alive is nothing compared the burden if you are dead. People who care about you will be haunted by your death for the rest of their lives. You must stay alive to save them."

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Therapy doesn’t make sense, has become a betrayal. Makes me think I can do this, makes me talk about things after fact. But it’s right now that I need help. Not 5 days from now. that’s how it always is. I’d rather just be left alone to do this than constantly repeat that pattern.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

I put a screenshot of one of my kids on my phone’s wallpaper today to keep myself alive today. Nowhere in any research does anyone give me any logical ways to make me want to do any of this. But guilting me into staying for my kids does. And that makes me angrier than anything.

[The Unicorneleon @unicorneleon]

Wow. This might be one of the most powerful things I’ve found in a long time. My main goal is to do everything in my power for my kids not to become someone like me.