cum (taylor’s version)

RIDE OR DIE CHICK WITH A POCKET FULL OF RELISH. ~~im never gonna die and im always gonna fly~~ itchy eyes, itchier heart

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

Fifi, Toes, and Crème Fraiche

[Shmooogan Shmooosey @UngluedToast]

Y'all are going to have to stop naming your cats Miso and Mochi man cut it out

[lanie @lanielaniela]

it's crazy how Barb & Star go to Vista Del Mar is one of the funniest movies ever made and only four and a half people on God's green earth have seen it

[milk @milkinhisbag]

i have not had anything nice to say in like 4 years

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

Named my hole the donato’s family fun zone

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

The real estate agent whose face SpongeBob & Patrick played in has been revealed to be named Janet.

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

She only likes me for the Glock in my rari :(

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

Remember formspring? lol

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

having a cat is great. every day i'm like
'how did i live life before this.' i mean yes the crime rate in my house is up like 40,000% percent. but. worth it for the new experiences every day with this guy.

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

She star spangled on my banner til it waved

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

Cats are so good. There's just a little guy in my house! We hug! We don't speak the same language! We're best friends! He bites me! I make up little songs about him! He doesn't know my name! We fall asleep next to each other!

[🪩🎲🍒 @expired_grl]

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette

[Looper DeJean @GovanJones]

Sharing this planet with so many irredeemable morons is fucking exhausting

[bbl mccarthyism @hellciee]

Friendship breakups are super sad but getting your shit off about someone that you’ve felt for years but you didn’t say because that’s your friend is so cathartic. Because no you’ve been a weak ass pathetic bitch forever but I would never say that to a friend.

[🌋 @hum_dunkin]

(trying to say "there's plenty fish in the sea" but forgetting the phrase) there's animals all over the place

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

Lobsters are so hard to eat it’s almost like they don’t want to die and be our dinner

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

I just can’t get behind the fake toenails

[cum (taylor’s version) @unicornmob_]

@glamdemon2004 Rhode Island is everything

[ravn @mfnravn]

actually idk what i was crying for i’m glad we fell out bitch fuck you

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

dress for my body type? I don’t think so I’m gonna be dressing for my brain type (mentally ill in a way where I can only wear soft fabrics with stretchy waistbands or I feel like I’m dying)