Not United Baggage

Sometimes, your bags make it there.

They lose bags for real. We're a parody account.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

Customer service options:
1. Call: hold for 1 hour, then we hang up on you
2. Tweet: Millenial comm student tweets "Sorry"
3. Form we ignore

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@1thinchip @united Whistling in the wind.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@Dutchessofall @rolandsmartin @united But they fit us great! Thanks for your donation.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@annieneimand @kerrylynnrose @united LOL.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@JasmineYKent @united You should really allow three to six months for a reply. Be patient.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@NotAtAllUnited @_carolesque @united I'll take that bet!

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@JoeyCB321 @united You get it!

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@gladdy_19 @united Oh no! Would automated useless platitudes from one of our "social media relationship managers" make you feel better?

[Billy Nguyen @billyn]

Being a @united frequent flyer gives me the same pride as buying tighty whities in bulk.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@bwgilbert @united "we really don't appreciate you" is EVERY class. They are just degrees of not caring.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@atkinssean @united Welcome to "rep tennis" - the winner is the one that makes you give up!

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@manginijm @united Because you won't actually change airlines.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@The_Bootlegger @united Oh, you should certainly fill out the customer service form so that we can ignore it!

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@large_dave @united Did you pay for the "no smell" upgrade? No? Then don't complain.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@HeidelbergChad @united "Words that ring hollow" is the name of our customer service manual! How did you know?

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@luisgtza @united LOL you want free stuff from united LOL

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@dino_stef @united Nope. A better process would require humans. Humans are expensive.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@TPapsdorf @richardmarx @united To be fair, you'd be unhappy too if you had to work for United.

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@IamMrBanks @united "worst customer service" is our motto!

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

All your bagz are belong to us! https://t.co/1mSuZat54Q

[Not United Baggage @unitedbaggage]

@virtuoso05 @united Would useless "social media relationship managers" be of any use in lieu of actual customer service? I hope so!