Jess (sticker enthusiast)

Cracked open a cold one with the boys n they asked if I’m butch. 🏳️‍🌈🖖🤎🧡🤍🩷❤️ Jewish antizionist.

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

24

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

now the remaining question is how old do I have to be before people start thinking of me as Regular Sheldon instead of Young Sheldon?

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

@equine__dentist This is a Brahminy Blind Snake, often mistaken for a worm because look at it lol

They can reproduce without males and are the smallest known snake!

Fellow lesbians, please feel free to use this info in your "would you still love me if I was a worm" convos

[Lebron Q. Septa @dropkick_murray]

It's Always Sunny, Mac sideplot

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

By far the funniest moment in Homer’s Odyssey is when Circe says, “Shall we have sex?” and Odysseus says, “You just turned all my men into pigs. You have the GALL to think I would sleep with you? Of course I will. Absolutely. But don’t do any weird spells”

[noah @_fromthedale]

Favorite part from watching The Odyssey last night was when they panned to the beach and revealed that Odysseus had been on the planet of the horses all along

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

I'm so jealous of New York City

[Acyn @Acyn]

Mamdani: In a win for every ice cream lover across New York City, we will work with the state to do away with the frozen dessert permit that requires restaurants to seek out a superfluous second permit for what they’re already doing: serving food.

No more treat-sploitation, as we say.

Right now, barbershops need three licenses to cut hair: one to be a barber, one to own the shop, and one from the city on top of both.

The state of affairs is frankly anti-fade, and we will not stand for it, which is why we will work with the state to streamline these licenses as well.

And to the bingo enthusiasts out there, for too long, the potential earnings of a hot streak at bingo have been capped by arcane rules that no longer reflect how the game is actually being played.

With OPEN, DCWP will remove unnecessary regulations, including prize limits.

These are just a few of the improvements we are proud to announce today as we make it clear we are in the pocket of Big Abuela.

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

Is there a name for this pervasive idea among Americans that our military is so all-powerful that we could totally destroy any nation immediately but we keep losing on purpose because we’re just too nice to go all out? We’ve been doing it since Korea at least

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

all the other soldiers in the trojan horse: *wildly gesturing for me to stop*

me: *gesturing not to worry they’re for all of us while trying to very quietly open a bag of chips*

[glitch 🇵🇸 @glitchpoke]

incredible bit towards the end here where 'games take over the real world' is illustrated by someone turning what's clearly an office into a first person shooter and shooting the digital representation of their female coworker

[Dr Dick Gargantuan, DMD @MikeJazzpenis]

I like to kidnap people and then ransom them back at comically small numbers to make them feel bad enough themselves. 50 bucks. 75. I lose money on it.

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

if you look closely during the odyssey you can see christine baranski in her pedal boat on her way to sing “does your mother know?”

[James @exhaustdata]

Saw a church sign that said GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD FOR HE IS GOO and I threw my arms up with such involuntary speed that I think technically the Holy Spirit moved me

[Aberdeen 🌊🌊 🕉️🔯 @aberdeen40b]

Hegseth after creating his perfect soldier

[mad tsai @MadTsai]

i think about this tweet all the time

[richard @richard_normal]

imagining filling the trojan horse to the brim with the minions. everything else basically takes place as expected from there.

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

@AnotherCatte @gremlingardener Moved the goalposts from "planet uninhabitable without universal cooperation immediately" to "won't meet climate change goals without major polluters on board [no timeframe provided]" then "ok kiddo" and blocked me.

You can think the world is ending, that doesn't make it true.

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

@AnotherCatte @gremlingardener I don't think that's true and I'd challenge you to find a credible source for that claim.

[Jess (sticker enthusiast) @unkahnventional]

Thought the guy in front of me at the punk show was doing drugs but he is eating Skittles

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

to hear Trump tell it, American elections were completely corrupted while he was president and he was helpless to stop it, then they were cleaned up by Biden ahead of Trump's victory in 2024, and now that Trump is president again they are once again becoming third world-caliber