U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody)

A parody of the hierarchy of bishops who jointly exercise pastoral functions on behalf of the Christian faithful of the United States. (they/them)

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

What’s it like being a woman in the Church? LOL literally no one here knows.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Bishop Chairmen implore Congress to Support Helpful “Respect for Marriage Act” | Read the complete letter here: https://t.co/Oy7h0FpGNq

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Today we are so grateful for all of you showing us what holiness looks like with your love, tenderness, anger, and virtue. You all are so beautiful and make us better bishops!

[Joshua McElwee @joshjmcelwee]

#PopeFrancis today told the Catholic Church’s international theological commission to have “faithful creativity” to tradition, warning against the “great danger” of only wanting to go backwards. The Second Vatican Council, he said, is the “sure compass” for the church’s path.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

@sourcreamgay Praying!

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

@kayaoakes New indulgence just dropped - every tweet under said outline is worth one year off Purgatory. Happy tweeting.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

And if you’re the one who needs extra love, your Church has your back. That’s what we are here for!

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

There is someone in your family who needs more love than usual this year. Put aside the usual crap and be a light. Holidays are hard. Love makes them easier.

[Jenn Morson @jennmorson]

Read this. Now. And stop with your Dobson bullshit. All of you. Leave them alone. Let them dance. Let them love. Let them be.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

https://t.co/uiZpUzx8at

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

No lies detected.

Denying the truth about queer people, women’s abilities, violence against POC groups, etc. has destroyed countless lives.

Give him credit this was a good tweet.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Apologizing is not enough re: homophobia in the Church:

“Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorder sin has caused… The sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin.” -CCC 1459

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

@drew_deacon @MLMucci Just gonna leave this here

https://t.co/STTTNuAWnF

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Mary weeps and the crowd mocks. There were always Church leaders in the crowd. God forgive us.

[James Martin, SJ @JamesMartinSJ]

Please pray for the eternal rest of the five people who were murdered, and the recovery of the 18 injured, at the shooting at #ClubQ, an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs last night. Pray and work for an end to the evils of homophobia, transphobia and gun violence.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

We don’t just love you on the weekends or during capital campaigns. You all are so beautiful and wonderful it makes our heart burst with pride!

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

@Sayde_Scarlett Room and board is typically also covered and does not come out of personal expenses.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

@jeanniegaffigan @vineandfigco I see you’ve met my mom!

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Fuck it. My name is Patrick Flores and I’m a gay Catholic who helps run things over at @vineandfigco. Thanks for coming along for the ride folks keep believing in a better Church!

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Tax the rich. Protect the poor.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Focus on how you can give love, not how you can withhold it in order to get people to act how you want them to act.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

Hold your loved ones so much closer than you currently are. There’s no such thing as too much love when it comes to the time we’ve been given together.

[U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (parody) @usccbp]

It may feel good to imply that other people are less Catholic than you, less worthy of Jesus than you, but theologically it’s nonsense.