.

if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would

[k @ysljennii]

me with the laundry from the dryer

[glocc @gloccz8v]

he did this in front of the hoes and they loved it. this man was unstoppable.

[BIG BETA SENSEI🥛 @Chad_Hominem_]

Piping hot Pho transporting micro plastics directly into my bloodstream

[freia @freialobo]

One of my longest standing hobbies is thinking about whether I should get an iPad. It’s not about the iPad it’s about imagining the alternate life I might live as someone who has an iPad. Love to wonder about it

[elina 🔮 🍉 @bogwitchbooks]

Losing it over this therapy horse that vigorously plays the piano to wake kids up from anesthesia

[Tara @boredwriter1]

Every summer, fate chooses a CEO for the sacrifice. That's the ritual.

[Grace @gracecamille_]

$500 vet trip to be once more told he is anxious and fat

[clare @sadderlizards]

hey boss can i head out early i wanna go home to do some arts and crafts

[jynx @jynxbby]

dear diary, today i was angry because i woke up early and i was still sleepy

[ky @jilroberts]

this is my reaction to everything in life recently

[ʎʞɔnl @CELE6RITY]

when I say I don’t drink anymore that means shots. cocktails and champagne are just part of being a girl.

[N @dearvotion]

i keep thinking about this bar’s menu design.

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

this cat is so relaxed, I want you to see it.

[Why you should have a cat @ShouldHaveCat]

Tail stays dry 😄

[Trey @treydayway]

I say "no worries" a lot for someone with an abundance of worry

[Austine @theereal_one]

I be hella fake at work using words I don’t even use in my real life like “awesome”

[Optimus Fine @sunnydaejones]

My hot take is that only bad parents say this.
😂

[Jolene Cuisine @_jolenecuisine]

Draco Malfoy’s dad on his way to beat the shit out of Dobby.

[clare @sadderlizards]

my plans for the evening

[The Lord of Leisure @LeisureGod69]

Santa waking me up after I left him a 200mg edible instead of milk and cookies