Remember, there are 7 things every child needs to hear:
1. I love you
2. I support you
3. I am listening
4. The Oregon Ducks are cheaters
5. Phil Knight is a vampire
6. I am here for you
7. You matter
ALMOST A DECADE OF TEETH-GNASHING AND CLOTHES-RENDING AND *WHINING* AND IMPEACHMENTS DOSSIERS RUSSIAN HACKERS AND "FASCISM!" AND "HITLER!" AND "34 FELONIES!" AND ALL YOU IDIOTS MANAGED TO DO WAS KEEP THIS ABJECTLY *RIDICULOUS* MAN IN POWER UNTIL *2028*. ITS REALLY SOMETHING MAN