Matthew Valenzano 🤠

Associate Creative Director

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

Opening a Italian-Vietnamese restaurant, calling it “Pho-get about it”

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

To all the losers that blamed their performance on a third party controller: read ‘em and weep.

[🏴🏴‍☠️PNWEXTREMIST™️🏴‍☠️🏴 @mearmalite10]

The cheapest part survived. 🙃

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

do you ever think “why do all my TikTok’s suck?” only to realize you’ve been tricked into watching Instagram reels

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@jaden @podaboutlist life imitates art

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

If we’re not supposed to put q tips in our ears then why did god put a g-spot in there

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@poor_eric If anyone disagrees it’s because they haven’t seen a double big gulp irl

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@poor_eric Two year old expired chicken soup on new years day to cure a hangover. It didn’t

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@KAI5ER You didn’t have to flex on us this hard

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@AdamFriedland My condolences, Adam 😔

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

I love animals that have mating calls. Imagine being so horny you start screaming.

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@KAI5ER Things overheard on Zoom

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@mattymatheson Pasta e Cici

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

The difference between the pictures we take on vacation are striking.
her: 🥰😍
me: lol this railing is jerking off

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@ShendellJenner @poor_eric I just realized this is one of the first things people would see if they go to my profile 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@globeandmail Why pair this headline with a picture of legal cannabis?

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@globeandmail I thought this was the onion for a second.

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@CurtisRemarc Is this even a dog

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@Dr_Draper If it’s unclear: This guy is a Internet personality/comedian and the post is supposed to be a joke.

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@FluffSociety ❤️❤️😍😍😭😭

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@poor_eric Goddamn this is on point.

[Matthew Valenzano 🤠 @valenzano]

@matthew_dicker @Cristiano Holy shit. World’s most effective influencer.