Valerie Fischer

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

So of course my heat busts in the middle of Snowmaggedon 2022 and my beautiful angel of a maintenance man came and fixed it, but this is the text he sends me after. SIR, this is not that kinda show.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Facts: Halloween oreos are the supreme and I will not accept arguments to the contrary.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Hello my name's Valerie and my love language is gently bullying my friends and family.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Started my day being told that I have very symmetrical shoulder heights, which is easily the highest caliber compliment that I have ever recieved.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

@redpaperplates @WholesomeMeme I love it!

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

I would like to scream into the void now. Please and thank you. :)

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Ranking the places I've cried in my car:
Panera - 6/10 - very cathartic, ambience disrupted by random guy watching
Starbucks Drive Thru - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - barista ignored breakdown but made order correctly
Market Basket - meh - great vibes, points lost for lack of anonymity

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Currently trying to figure out what deeply buried emotion is giving me the intense desire to chop off all my hair and go blonde.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

On a day for the history books, @TheAmandaGorman delivered a poem that more than met the moment. Young people like her are proof that "there is always light, if only we're brave enough to see it; if only we're brave enough to be it."

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Trying to explain to my dad that the tire light in my car isn't broken, it just lights up every winter since I hit a Worcester pothole at 50 mph 3 years ago-- without telling him I hit a Worcester pothole at 50 mph 3 years ago.

[Dr. Jill Biden @DrBiden]

Together, we will build a world where the accomplishments of our daughters will be celebrated, rather than diminished.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

All I want is the Hinge boys I'm talking to believe in global warming and not ask me to drop out to become a housewife within the first five messages. I really didn't think that was asking too much.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

While I may be the first woman in this office, I will not be the last—because every little girl watching tonight sees that this is a country of possibilities.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Everyday my toaster toasts my bagel differently, which in the grand scheme of things is not a big deal, but I have standards.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Get you a roommate who will go to war with you against the colony of spiders in you room.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

You know, I didn't think there could be anything more stressful than trying to be professional on a zoom meeting while staring at a ginormous spider. But then I lost sight of the spider.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

I live for being able to impress strangers with my knowledge of produce codes.

[Mayor Marty Walsh @marty_walsh]

I see you. I hear you. I will use my voice for you.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Just spent 30 minutes scrolling through Netflix and Hulu trying to find a new show just to rewatch Parks and Rec.

[Valerie Fischer @valfischer916]

Sometimes I wonder if Middle-School me would think Current me is cool.