Goob

innocence and mayhem at once

[Goob @valgoob]

@dollhousez girl yes but we're too old so pack it up

[Lauren Dawn Johnson @LaurenDawn_TV]

Having covered several high-profile trials, I don’t recall having heard jury instructions about implicit bias.

Very interesting to hear Judge Cahill spell this out to the jury.

Lawyers from both sides helped with these instructions.

#GeorgeFloyd

[Goob @valgoob]

... that disorienting feeling when the royalty free background music from a party scene in How I Met Your Mother is @nailogical's THEME MUSIC 🤯

[Goob @valgoob]

this for real but absolutely nothing else. happy day, USA!

[The none and only Bill @sportsfan926]

#ThingsImGonnaMissAboutTrump
The way he dances when everyone is watching

[Goob @valgoob]

retweeting myself *again* for obvious reasons

[Goob @valgoob]

theory: #Trump stars in a meandering performance art piece about how hard it is to get fired from a government job

[Goob @valgoob]

proud to share some friend(s forever) excellence on this fine Friday! Keep up the meaningful and good work, Banksie

[Sarcoma Service at Memorial Sloan Kettering @MSKSarcoma]

The Sarcoma Service welcomes an additional new fellow to its team, Dr. Lauren Banks, MD, PhD! Dr. Banks has an interest in immunotherapy & will be focused on fusion-derived neoantigens in #DSRCT. She will be working with Drs. @sandrapdangelo & Chris Klebanoff.

[Goob @valgoob]

Mask on --> miss.
Mask off --> ma'am
This is science, but what does it MEAN.

[Goob @valgoob]

one of my favorite #treatyoself activities is freezing delicious food for future me. really hit it out of the park with this applesauce.

[Goob @valgoob]

quick question - how do I get people to stop emailing me?

[Goob @valgoob]

White man follows black woman home in his car. Demands to know her business; claims HE feels unsafe. 🦅 If you've ever been followed and/or are a woman then you know how extra insane this is on top of his racist neighborhood watch. Nevermind the mop on his head.

[personal house plant/muscle @kagl0me]

I just got Karen'd? This man followed me home because I went to pick up DOG FOOD at somebody's house!

He followed me all the way to my house so I turned on a side street and he said he felt "unsafe"

[Goob @valgoob]

Gold.

[Thankful Musgrave 🦃 @profmusgrave]

Protesters Say Statue Tripped, Fell Into Water

[Goob @valgoob]

we need a zero tolerance policy for people who don't mute themselves on Zoom meetings. we need not to spend any amount of time inviting those people to mute themselves. we need meeting hosts to mute them.

[Goob @valgoob]

@ZimriDiaz frijoles > pants. the math is simple, really.

[Goob @valgoob]

@newyorklunch I like the idea of it happening to us, like, how DARE the laundry. It's the worst!

[Goob @valgoob]

forgetting when I've left multiple loads of clean laundry on the bed until minutes before bedtime is easily the most obnoxious thing I do to myself on a regular basis

[Goob @valgoob]

tfw someone explains something that you have no frame of reference for, you ask for clarification, and they launch into a longer explanation using another thing you have no frame of reference for

[Goob @valgoob]

@MrsMcgillen How did you do this!?

[Goob @valgoob]

it is wild to think that a computer gets to demand confirmation that I'm the one who's not a robot before allowing me to conduct business on the internet

[Goob @valgoob]

it took eleventy-hundred weeks of telework, but I finally understand why olden-days office employees were always giving and receiving paperweights as gifts

[Goob @valgoob]

Self: Alexa, cancel the upcoming reminder.
Alexa: You do not have any upcoming reminders.
Alexa 10 minutes later: <<THIS IS A REMINDER>>