Laina Rogers

Baker, Attorney, Mom, Appalachian. Xennial mom to Zoomers, daughter of Not-Boomers.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@chrissyteigen To leave room for chili cheese fries in the world?

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@buffywatcher23 Starfire with her mama Snowy

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

“And what it all comes down to, is that I haven’t got it figured out just yet…” every single year. Thanks @Alanis

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

Sorry, but you’re going to have to come up with a better argument than, “I care about what I put in my body” when I know you spent the 90s and early 2000s drunk in a field, and now I see y’all in the McDs line regularly.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

No one really knows the long term effects of a steady diet of Mad Dog and Boones Farm on your developing teenaged brain, either, kids, and yet you did it. At least the vaccine helps immunity to something besides common sense.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@radiodave891 @MaryLTrump

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

Conservatives: We are so sick of Disney pushing queerness on us with these side characters in their movies and shows. Disney, okay, hold our beer while we give you a whole ass allegory for queerness spiced with some commentary on toxic masculinity. #lucamovie

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

Do you think this was some archaic punishment for masturbation? I have questions.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

Arguably America’s worst President...till Trump.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

Sign inside: please maintain an air of reverence. Me, stage whisper: LOOK AT ALL THESE PAINTINGS OF WHITE JESUS.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@sandibaise1 @clairecmc @Troluzoo I can’t wait to see Jim Jordan in George Clooney’s documentary all about how he and his pals covered up sexual abuse.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

My fourteen year old on dress codes: “if you’re so horny you come in your pants because you see a girl’s knee, get some therapy.” My work here is done.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@WendyAngle He’s an idiot. Contributions ARE taking a position, even the Supreme Court says so.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

I don’t know who needs to hear this (Matt Gaetz) but sometimes you should just pay cash.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@DanaSchwartzzz My kid is just mad that the Marvel theme opener wasn’t followed by her thirty-fifth watching of any episode of WandaVision except the last. My heart can’t take that one again yet.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@pattonoswalt @tedcruz Brown shirt, check. Heil salute, check. Fucccck, I must have forgotten my nazi armband in Cancun.

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

And this is why most of the rest of the country think you’re a bunch of stupid cousin fuckers, #Arkansas If you object to that characterization, vote better. https://t.co/wdaSYdP0OL

[PBS News @NewsHour]

Opponents of the law, including the Human Rights Campaign and the American Civil Liberties Union, have said it will allow doctors to refuse to offer a host of services for LGBTQ patients. https://t.co/Rjgz8pqPzM

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@sandymaltese @tedcruz Do you know how many incarcerated people owe a crap ton of child support? Hopefully it gets intercepted for that purpose just like tax returns do. Does that help your feeling of discomfort?

[Laina Rogers @ValhallaMama]

@KateOnKamera @davidmweissman UnAmerica