vanessa macdonald

You can turn the tables but your feet are still going to be under it!!!!

[SAM SMITH @samsmith]

WHO IS THIS KID!!!!!? YOU ARE OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE WHOEVER YOU ARE ❤️

[FR★N @fransexuality]

This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen an awards show do, and every day from this moment forward I will regret I was not the gay who wrote it.

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

Every time I instagram lately it’s under the influence of alcohol then I get high and I’m like that ain’t me

[Peckshield Org. @PeckshieldOrg]

Trying to get a toddler to go to bed is like trying to throw a cape on James Brown.

[grant @TakeForGrantd]

Joaquin Phoenix: all I have are negative thoughts

Me: *just shoving handfuls if buttered popcorn into my mouth* fuuuuck maybe IM the joker

[Blake Anderson @UncleBlazer]

You are not allowed to take shots of vodka after you turn 23 ***

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

My Friday night has consisted of tearing up watching the croods reflecting on the beauty of family. So yes I screwed up my birth control a few weeks ago and haven’t been the same since

[Julia Claire @ohJuliatweets]

Who among us could have guessed that the guy who created the social network that originated as a way to rank the attractiveness of his female classmates would turn out to be an amoral creep

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

@darbwat *Burns my most recent dad sneaker purchase*

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

when i’m feeling too confident, i like to wear a shirt with horizontal stripes and see my reflection in a car window, just to keep myself humble

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

@rachael_cooney Y do other wrong us so

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

Stares into mirror and decides I will exercise the right not to wear make up to work.
6 people today “You look exhausted ...you alright?”

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

after years of pretending to be Cool and Chill and Down, i’m ready to embrace my identity as the highest maintenance bitch you ever saw in your fucking life

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

This could be a Jordan peele short film

[🤟🏾 @LilBreauxSkee]

When it’s chicken Alfredo again but you need a place to stay

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

All I can think of when I scroll through insta is I missed some kind of posing class

[Macaulay Culkin @IncredibleCulk]

This is what an updated Home Alone would actually look like.

[vanessa macdonald @vanessa2014]

Seen a few zoom in snaps of BDV butts and let me tell you if somebody provided Snapchat with a close up of my cellulite butt there would be problems (I am ok with my cellulite despite society but I would be very angry at the videographer re:consent)