Cardi Bean

she/her. writer. sometimes funny, most of the time just tired.

[ashley ray @theashleyray]

“marrying late” and she’s just 33

[sal @cowboyverismo]

it would be so cool if recycling was real

[bleet @lilbleetbitchh]

we literally used to write a rough draft and final draft essay BY HAND 😭😭😭

[Katie @ALadyNamedKatie]

The older I get, no.

[📜 @elioandoliverse]

It's not clocking to you that I've been standing on business for as long as I've known you jo

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

i actually don't fucking care if immigrants are "hard working" or not. i care that they're people

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

whoops lost myself for about eight years there

[ugh @ughfinewhatever]

what if I don’t have a structured settlement but I still need cash now

[alfie @alfienxo]

i may not have a type but i do have a Pattern

[:( @mostnormalwoman]

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room who knows where I’ll go next

[Victoria @arctiquehare]

I hope tomorrow i can wake up and speak spanish fluently

[schizzy @crybabybuick]

White people be like oh you can grab a soda from our 2nd fridge in the garage

[skanks @skanks17]

Angel hair pasta is such a bitch made noodle. Real adults like some girth in their dinner

[Case @Cactuscali19912]

Bangs are just the mustaches of the forehead.

[erika @yeeeerika]

hey (with the intention of going back to sleep)

[໊ @sonohoor]

why can’t my career pursue me instead

[folake aina @f0lake]

i can literally be smiling laughing and enjoying life, all of a sudden i see a cyber truck & aint shit funny

[clare @sadderlizards]

are you seriously not going to pick up that dandelion and make a wish