John Van Gilder

They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I wonder if that guy who hosted Dirty Jobs ever got mad at his bosses for doing too much Mike Rowe management

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I haven’t seen the CDC yet condemn licking one’s fingers after touching a particularly tasty doorknob, so I think we’re probably good to go on that front

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I know a lot of people have a lot of opinions about movies, but I think we can all agree that Shrek 2 has one of the greatest climaxes in cinema history #INeedAHero

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

Opening credits like "Albert R Broccoli's Eon Productions Ltd. Presents Daniel Craig as Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 in Casino Royale" make me think it's the lawyers and agents who really make all the money

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

@Fendermcbender Straight off the set of “Spider-Man vs the Unabomber”

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I’m willing to entertain the 2015 remaster 3:23-3:50 as well since they turned down the organ a bit, but that’s up to personal preference

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

As far as I’m concerned the definitive version to listen to The Beatles’ Let it Be is as follows:
2013 remaster from 0:00-1:57
2015 remaster from 1:57-2:24
2013 remaster from 2:26-3:55
2009 remaster never, ever

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

As I see it, there are three options:
1) Remi can control any human he pleases to do his rat bidding
2) Any rat can control Linguini to fulfill whatever inexplicable rat goals they have
3) Any rat can control any human, which would probably just end up as Pacific Rim

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

A horror movie set in the Ratatouille universe would easily be the scariest movie of all time

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

It's great when it's part of the genre--heist movies, whodunits, Shyamalan...annoying when everything from John Wick 3 to Detective Pikachu to the Dora the Explorer movie has one

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I'm tired of movie spoilers. Not being spoiled, though I dislike that too; I'm tired of the fact that movies are getting so reliant on The Dramatic Reveal to keep audiences from getting bored halfway through the third act

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

“Wait, where are my car keys? They’re not in my pocket” I panicked, driving my car down the highway

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

I’m only one episode in but The Mandalorian has everything I’ve come to love about Star Wars: janky puppets, 2000’s-era PowerPoint scene transitions, weird miniatures, terrible alien prosthetics and a lot of fun.

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

Pro tip: if you get something from Bath and Body Works called “vanilla sugar scrub” it does work well as soap, but it’s rather poor as a bathtime snack

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

It's like a bunch of guys got together and tried to make The Naked Gun and had all the acting and comedic talent, but none of the screenwriting ability

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

Hot Rod (2007) is a profoundly strange movie--part surreal comedy, part parody of...something? Among the funniest writing and acting I've ever seen, but everything outside of the humor is so terribly executed it's unreal

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

Surely, Airplane! has such a high joke density that I'm pretty sure it'd break if there was a single one more

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

The least realistic part of most post-apocalyptic media is that there exist abandoned buildings that still haven’t been converted into Spirit Halloween stores

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

Webster’s Dictionary defines a “bad speech” as any speech that includes the phrase “Webster’s Dictionary defines”

[John Van Gilder @vanglide]

@Fendermcbender Crazy Frog Fun Fact 55: Crazy Frog’s Spotify artist picture includes, front and center, what appears to be his exposed genitalia