Jennifer Green

Your words mean nothing when your actions are the complete opposite.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.

[Karen Allender @PoteenkoMs]

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

It would help if they taught English majors how to center the cheese on a McDonald's cheeseburger.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Money can't buy you happiness, but I'd rather cry in a mansion.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Be careful who you call your damn friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.

[Monique Wolf @kzroychikov]

Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.

[Carol Fair @eelpidifor]

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Being Addicted to sex is like being addicted to pizza. When its good its great, but when its bad, its still pretty good.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

I fell off a 100ft ladder today..... Luckily I was on the bottom step.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Before u say something... stop & think how u would feel if someone said it to u.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Worry works! 99% of the things I worry about never happen.

[Celina Gutierrez @SfilatkinXr]

"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you picked up a little mexican girl and screamed, "DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME"

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Never let success get to your head, or let failures get to your heart.

[Celina Gutierrez @SfilatkinXr]

We breath air, trees make air, homework kills trees. Therefore, homework kills us.