Verterrilax

Verterrilax the Consumer - Just a red dragon trying to make his way in the white man's world.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

I just entered to win a Barrett 82A1 50 BMG Rifle from @ClassicFirearm! Valued at $9000! #gungiveaway #winagun #WINABARRETT @BarrettRifles #BARRETT #BARRETT82A1 #dreamgun #riflegiveaway #guncontest Enter Here - https://t.co/N7ZJE4t1K2

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

[out of character post] Reminded this week of the importance of mental health. Please hug someone who is hurting. [return to character]

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Traveling for work sucks. I never sleep well in a rental cave. I miss the sounds & smells of my own lair.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

The next 3 days will be filled with socializing, lectures, and drinking. Our annual user conference is like college for old white dudes.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

What's the point of inviting 300 customers to your annual user conference if you can't eat a few of them? I'm sure Sales will find more.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

The question is not "Why does a dragon have so many socks?" but rather "Why am I the one sorting them out?" Have I no thralls for this task?

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Taking the youngest hatchling to see her first live concert. At The Vera Project no less. Hallowed grounds for grunge.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

When you're trying to torture some peasants and your office mate will not shut off the fucking Rhianna! I'm looking at you, Dave.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Boiled knight is great too, but cracking open the shells makes such a mess

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Wondering what Mrs. Consumer made for dinner. Commoners are tasty, but would it kill her to flame broil a royal every now and again?

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

All the phenomenal cosmic power of being a giant winged fire lizard and still can't get Hamilton tickets.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

If a large mythical fire lizard is sitting wide on the train, is it called draco-spreading? #AskingForAFriend

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

I am Verterrilax the Consumer. Kneel in awe and wonder as I consume this plate of hash browns and bacon!

[Dungeons And Donalds @DungeonsDonald]

The D&D Healing system is imploding. Support for their pet healer class has stopped. Players should agree to my rules to fix!

[Nerdist @nerdist]

Today's #MonsterMadness poll is a modern creature vs. a #Disney classic. Who would win in a fight: Cloverfield monster or Maleficent?

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

And he is President? How the heck did that happen?

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Cracking open the cave after a long nap. What did I miss?

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Had a great bonding weekend with one of the hatchlings. Took the sting out of going back to work terrorizing peasants and eating virgins.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

Do your part and recycle whenever you can.

[Verterrilax @verterrilax]

@chuntttttt Ask him about the Dairy Queen, White Castle, and all the food courts that are here on Earth. He's lying about the Burger King.