Woody Peckerwood

Don’t DM me
I’ll DM you

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

@stephanicci Smh, you must date weak men

[Noah Wright @NoahW_25]

Carmen Mlodzinski when you ask him to pitch like a traditional reliever in a bullpen that despratley needs help:

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

Toddlers love this song, right?
I mean I did when I was smol

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

They’re getting an education on the classics!

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

My bro is home with his wife and my nieces so I’m putting on some good music for them 😂😂

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

@stephanicci You missed your calling as a songwriter

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

Why does Apple have to mess with things that are working?
Now my speakers won’t connect via Bluetooth
I’ve tried everything that I know how to do (which purely consists of unplugging stuff and plugging it back in) nothing has worked!

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

This festival food is gonna be the end of me
I’m just gonna spontaneously combust
It’s been a fun ride though

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

Money is the root of all evil

And with that, I bid you nice people adieu

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I’m not allowed to have money or else it would end up like this

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

Anyway, I hope you guys made some money when I gave you the advice on Wednesday

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

The problem with the cloning movies is that they assume the clone will have the memories of the original and that’s just not how it’s gonna work…
I want it to be a kid so I can raise it how I would’ve liked to have been raised

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I just want to clone myself, is that too much to ask?

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I just want to clone myself, is that too much to ask?

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I don’t get it
(And I think I’m having déjà vu)

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

What??
You don’t put toilet paper in the trash can
But I’m obviously a sucker for engagement bait

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Toilet paper goes in the toilet, and I’m not debating it with anyone. Having a trash can in the bathroom is unhygienic.

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I think that she is a wife, but her husband might be gay

[Societies Worst Offenders @WorstOffenders]

Men, please don't accept used up hoors like this.

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I’m gonna slap that ass

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

I miss the feeling of when she was way too young to sexualize…

[rachel @rachelplntgnt]

I miss the feeling of answering a question correctly in class

[Woody Peckerwood @vianobra]

What was that song?
“Cum baby, cum baby, 1-2-3”
Can’t remember

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

Samara Weaving has been cast as Emma Frost in the upcoming 'X-MEN' MCU movie

(via: Deadline)