princess butter mup

my kids are funnier than me but don't follow them. they aren't allowed to talk to strangers. Autism Sucks.

[Blather Wince Repeat @xerxesbigboy]

Fun Fact:
The crumb tray in the average toaster collects enough in a year’s time to make breaded pork chops for an ungrateful family of four.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

@AlissaWalsh21 @MattWalshBlog This is a battle I have fought over a decade. Now that my husband has found a really nice cigar store on his way home from work, we are facing WWIII. His complaint is our Patio is facing full west.

[💚Stucco and the Rascally raccoon sidekick Bandit @Stuccoman1]

I have a whole category in my phone of stuff I would randomly send my sister because we were idiots like that. You guys would have liked her a lot. She was pretty dope. This is one way of coping for me. 8 1/2 months sober. Gotta keep going. Can't let her down now

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

I am at that age where foreplay includes taking a Tylenol for my arthritis first.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Never believe everything you read. Unless it’s about aliens. I am pretty sure they are real.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Laugh all you want but if reused margarine containers become currency after the apocalypse my mom will be queen of the earth.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

If you have a better credit score than me, you are more than welcome to hack my personal info. P.s. Pay off my student loans.

[Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22]

Our landline rang today and all three of our kids got confused and went outside because they thought a fire alarm was going off.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

I'm following the BRAT diet per my doctor's orders. I think it means bananas, rice, applesauce and Tito's vodka.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

I'm only 5,000 stomach viruses away from reaching my goal weight.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Think about it...the Night King of GoF is not a bad guy...he just wants to adopt everyone in Westeros to join his family....

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Sometimes I scroll on Twitter and Instagram with the legend of Zelda theme song playing...just makes it more dramatic I guess.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

When you're feeling pretty bang, and think you wanna clang, onomatopoeia, onomatopoeia.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Today one of my patients died. All I could think was: I want to be better than I am. That's it. That's all.

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

I pee sitting down so people can't hear how small my penis is.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

My mom's favorite rug is gone.

That rug really tied the room together, dude.