Vikki McLeod

aspiring rapper, classically trained sarcastic prick.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

accidentally opening the front camera always reminds me that i'm grateful for my personality.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I might be a tad unhinged but at least I've never been mentally unstable enough to ever consider buying eyelashes for my car 🤷‍♀️

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Dear Universe, I better be signed up for the lucky and blessed package for 2024 and not this trials and tribulations bullshit contract I'm currently on.
Thank you and Amen.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Why do I always wave at the end of zoom calls like I'm departing on the fucking Titanic.

Someone hit me with an iceberg please.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I get so self conscious driving behind a slow driver that I can't overtake, that I pull in to the left a little to show everyone it's not my fault.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Who's going to break the news to these people that we don't care about their annual Spotify roundup...

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Websites need to stop asking if I'm a robot, because honestly at this point, yes.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I wish airport rules applied in real life- wearing sweats, smashing prosecco's and a burger at 10am on a Wednesday... but apparently that's not civilised unless you're catching a flight, urgh.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Zara office parties must slap because going on their website always makes me feel like the Web designers are dropping LSD on the daily...
Just let me see the fycking dress Mary.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I way too often say "I read last week..."

TikTok.

I saw it on TikTok.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Me emailing customers,

Draft: Please fuck all the way off Susan you useless bellend, I hope you're body is dumped and never recovered until it's been ravaged by wild animals and they have to identify you by your dental records...

Email sent: I apologise for the inconvenience.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

People talk about devices listening in on us & storing our information, what are they going to find out about me, I don't drink enough water, like the word cunt & too often eat sharing bags of food alone... come get me Siri.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Does anyone have any home remedies to help with the impending darkness that is day to day life, eating away at my soul, depleting my will to live? I've already tried apple cider vinegar ✌️

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I have some cheek watching fashion programmes, reading fashion blogs, following fashion accounts, buying fashion magazines when in reality I spend most of my time dressed like Adam Sandler.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

I used to think being an adult was just dealing with the occasional crisis, little did I know it's actually dealing with multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever. And then you die.

#adulting 1/0 do not recommend 👍

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

In these documentaries it's always people that "lit up a room" that end up getting murdered, I better watch myself because I'm a fucking ray of sunshine.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Humans have come up with some of the most intelligent inventions yet we still package bacon like that, for the love of God there has to be a better way.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Hard pills to swallow:
Tinder group photos... just know it's never the one you want it to be.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

Hold on, just let me overthink about this for a minute.

[Vikki McLeod @vikki_54]

can everyone stfu about cosy nights and pumpkin lattes, I'm still over here patiently waiting for summer 🌧