Vivek Katarya

A self proclaimed genius with a command of thoroughly useless information

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

I was narrating Inception to my 2 month old, and it was such an exhilarating ride that she made poopy in her diapers by the end; I however made it to the toilet just in time!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

An accurate progression of hair growth after a new haircut ~
Week 0-4: too short
Week 5: perfect
Week 6-10: too long

#wednesdayMusing

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

I hope we start 2021 with @netflix switching the "Skip intro" function with "Show intro" instead!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

#PartyParrot should be made a globally acceptable response to bring any online conversation to a logical conclusion.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

In order to teach my toddler daughter the harsh realities of life, I will start with cutting the edges off the bread that she eats. That ought to teach her about taxes!

I will also take a bite from her food every now and then as service charges.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

I told my wife that when I am 'in the zone' when coding, I only grasp 20% of what she would be talking about.

She adroitly compensates for it by talking 5x more.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

@m_menghnani No way! Is she not 2 already :p

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

The only thing that might make my 2 year old eat her food on her own accord is if we scatter it on the floor at random places.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Very few things in this world are worse than @PrimeVideo's app on Xbox!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Till today I am haunted by the thought of trailers playing by themselves when I open #Netflix

[James Cham @jamescham]

I don't think that people appreciate how different the voice to text experience on a Pixel is from an iPhone. So here is a little head to head example. The Pixel is so responsive it feels like it is reading my mind!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Now that we are supposed to wear masks in public places, Joke's on people who upgraded to phones with face unlock #CriesInPixel5

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Question: What should taking another serving of Mediterranean bread be called?

Answer: Re-pita!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Hey @netflix, just so you know - I speedily scroll past majority of your content without giving much heed, just so the trailers wouldn't automatically play.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Can't help but notice the glaring irony in Trump telling #Google that he is keeping a close eye on it!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

@khatri_ashok It's brilliant, but since it's on Twitter already, I would rather not :(

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

When you start running out of variations of the only password you use because of change-in-three-months password policy at your organization, and fleetingly consider whether it's time to switch.

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

@ajayvaddadi I would want to be reborn just so I can die again like this!

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

@optimistAk I don't know man, it's hard to read her. I think she was just mad because I have nothing planned yet for mother's day :-/

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

According to my wife, I meet expectations as a husband because she doesn't have any expectations from me anyway #KO

[Vivek Katarya @vivek_kt]

Landed in Hawaii, and I want to unwind so hard that I already feel stressed under the pressure of doing that.