Vanessa McLaughlin

Mostly harmless.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@Neopets @cakeworthystore I've been drooling over the Cakeworthy merch for a while now. My favourite items are the Classic Neopets Crewneck Sweater, the Your Neopets Are Dying Tote, and the Neopets Money Tree Notebook!

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@gerardway https://t.co/oCApc9vYaF Here’s a wicked cover by @lucydacus for you to use in S3 of Umbrella Academy!

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

My seven year old nephew pulls this out of a bucket of his Dad’s toys from the 90s and says “This guy’s the president!!” #CaliforniaRaisin #Lookalikes @realDonaldTrump

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@JimCarrey @ArianaGrande Love this!

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@OhMrWonka

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

I want to hear a collaboration between @iamcardib and @Ylvis, but instead of "What does the fox say?", it's just Cardi B's catchphrases.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@postsecret Seeing how many people posted photos of their pets in response to this makes me feel like I'm not getting the most out of my dog.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@postsecret "Edison", because rhyming is my real medicine.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@ryanqnorth My parents once spent a whole month tapping maple trees and only ended up with about four mason jars of syrup. And they gave me one! That's how I know they love me.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@moddyfronklon Ohmygawd I'D DIE!!

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

I don't listen to music at the gym. Does that make me a monster?

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

Whenever you're following someone funny and interesting, and then they do a thing and can't stop posting about the thing and they stop being funny or interesting.

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

The captain has turned on the "This is all a dream" light. Please return to your seat and wake up to whatever your real life has always been.

[ToddDakotah @ToddDakotah]

Sometimes I’m still shocked that “alot” isn’t a word.

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

I think "maga" sounds like an ability item in a Square Enix game. Pretty sure a #FinalFantasy and #MAGA crossover would rival Kingdom Hearts. #IdPlayThatGame

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

The best part is that they probably keep it in the closet!

[Vanessa McLaughlin @vsastle]

@goodreads I read Great Gatsby last month because it bugged me that Lorelai Gilmore was a single Mom, a successful business owner, a size two, a master seamstress, and somehow still has read more books than me.

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

saltines are the understudy of food. overlooked, underappreciated, waiting in the wings until somebody gets sick and then you just watch my baby shine

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

me: i just finished my time machine

friend: are you gonna go back and kill baby hitler?

me: no i'm gonna do something even more important

[25 years ago at cafe]

me (in waiter outfit): the world is gonna roll you

smashmouth guy eating crepe: *drops his fork*