Joshua Carney

born again slytherin, 4/6 wordle, Mountain Dew + Applebees apologist, Zillow researcher. I’m lifetime undefeated at catching rice from the hibachi chef.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@haymes_joshua Why publicly executed? Is there a deeper/better sense of justice being served when it’s public?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@conservmillen Just finished your book. In the conclusion you talk about how our children are always the first to bear the brunt for the god of self. You got anything to say about dead children and our the selfish need to have easy access to guns?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

What is it that the kids say? “How it started … how it’s going” … is that right?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Near death experiences can change a person… for at least five minutes of one speech

#trump #Biden #harris #Vance

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

I saw James & the giant peach musical for the first time tonight. Are there a disproportionate amount of orphans in England?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Texas: we have no state income tax, come live here

Also Texas: your grass is greener this year so we increased your property taxes by 37%

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Noticing a lot of conservative Christians distancing themselves from the #HeGetsUs commercial because of the lack of theological nuance. Please bring that fastidious scrutiny to your political candidates.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Friendly reminder about the complex nature of auto care. 2 oil changes ago my wife took our van to the dealer, they recommended 4 maintenance services “that needed to be done.” We did 0 of them. Took the van back van another oil change and dealer said “everything looks great!”

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Did QAnon go away or is that still a thing?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

School COVID policy ‘20: if you sneeze, buy hazmat suit and move to Antarctica

School COVID policy ‘23: unless you’re oozing napalm come to school

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@larrywilmore Definitely got the most “ok dad” with eye rolls from my kids I’ve ever gotten for repeating the same thing through out the performance.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@BleacherReport @AdamSchefter @AdamSchefter always on the scene to report what Rodgers already told everybody on the Pat Mcafee show.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Hallmark Christmas movie parodies hitting hard on insta this year.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Today I saw a shirt they said “pumpkin spice & Jesus Christ.” So be in the lookout for the first of the seven seals in Revelation to be broken open.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@SeanMastersons If I recall correctly this was the Targaryen family Christmas ‘19.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

Watching Community Halloween episodes. What a great achievement in cinematic history.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

So do you think evangelicals will opt for a new atonement theory, or just explain why “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,” was contextual?

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@MayorBowser thank you for taking the time to make an investment in @theAUDL

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@russellcrowe Greatest stadium in the world. Lambeau Field. Welcome to Wisconsin.

[Joshua Carney @waco_bishop]

@buitengebieden @mamancarlson