a man da

I live, stuff happens // soft heart // hard af puns. talking to no one lol

[a man da @watland007]

"And if I can't scuba then what's this all been about???!"

[a man da @watland007]

10 hour transatlantic flight and 15 minutes in we got stuff falling from the ceiling…

[a man da @watland007]

I’m never more offended than at 4 in the morning.

[a man da @watland007]

Why is everyone always running errands?? I’ll mosey MY errands, thankyouverymuch.

[a man da @watland007]

…because he is old and not gonna last too long?

[The New York Times @nytimes]

As King Charles III was crowned on Saturday, Hugo Burnand, a British photographer, waited in Buckingham Palace’s Throne Room for the most important moment of his career: the official portraits of the monarch. He had just minutes to take the photo. https://t.co/SUb3V9wQUX

[a man da @watland007]

My toxic trait is stopping way too long when I get a whiff of a laundry vent outside stranger’s buildings.

[a man da @watland007]

You’re telling me a waffle knit this sweater?

[a man da @watland007]

I look at sugar babies the way I look at abstract art:

“That’s a lot of money…

I could do that”

but then don’t because I don’t want to end up hanging in an old rich guy’s house.

[a man da @watland007]

Had a guy install a new sound system in my car. Not gonna lie: huuuge nerd, true stereotype.

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

paul dano's tiny smile shouldn't be out this late

[a man da @watland007]

She okay? She’s baking again….

[a man da @watland007]

I mean sure, some days I hate myself, but then I remember… I’m not a misogynist!

#WomansDay

[a man da @watland007]

Dudes are like “pour one out for the homies!” Gals be like “pour one out because of the homies!”

#WomansDay

[a man da @watland007]

This generation is built on streaming services: Netflix…Spotify…Crave…bidets….

[a man da @watland007]

Unseen footage of me most mornings

[a man da @watland007]

I eat while I do yoga to maintain a balanced diet.

[a man da @watland007]

Okay but actually, getting your period makes any holiday more festive:

Valentines: cute n red!
Easter: blood of Christ / BYO eggs
Christmas: also red!
Halloween: death to your eggs
Thanksgiving: grateful not pregnant
Memorial Day: bloodshed

[a man da @watland007]

Only red I’m wearing tomorrow is my period.

[a man da @watland007]

@frazham Team Ray🧡

[a man da @watland007]

@coolzawer Ya Oreo ain’t chocolate

[a man da @watland007]

Dreaming of the situationship Commissioner Gordon has with Batman