i wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.
Slept a bit better last night.. perhaps all my heart needed was someone to know my burden. Good morning, Xiao Jiu.. it is another beautiful day. You would have surely enjoyed the bird song.
I will light incense for you every day.. care for your empty resting place. There is nothing that can fill your place in my heart, and I will dedicate my life to keeping your memory alive, even if everyone else forgets you. Not me. Never again.