weird shit my kids say

my daughters are 17(E.) and 8 (A.), they say the weirdest and most inappropriate things, but they keep me laughing

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

A: Why do we have gelatin?
E: I was going to inject into your body while you're sleeping and turn your blood into jello.

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

My thumbs are ripped cuz I’m a gamer! -A.

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

everything looks like a dead animal... -E.

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

I have really long legs, I’m like a kangaroo...a disabled kangaroo. -E.

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

Um I’m confused about why a condom brand also makes popsicles...-E. (so many things going on with this one haha) #shitkidssay #funnyquotes #magnum

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

Are you telling me those were estrogen muffins?!?! That explains everything! -E. #estrogen #muffins #funnyquotes #weirddaughters

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

Whoah! I didn't realize cookie monster had his own Facebook page, I was like, why is this person so obsessed with cookies? -E. #sesamestreet #cookiemonster #funnyquotes #shitkidssay #weirddaughters

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

me: you need to cut your fingernails
A: no it's my only self-defense #conversations #shitmykidssay #weirddaughters #funnykids

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

I think I have arachnophobia or something... -E. #arachnophobia #weirdquotes #weirddaughters

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

eyelashes kinda look like spiders, look I'll show you -E. #eyelashesquotes #spiders #kidssaythedarndestthings #funnyquotes #mykidsmakemelaugh

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

when you bend your legs it kinda looks like a thumb -E. #funnyquotes #kidssaythedarndestthings

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

And also, I was reading about this type of OCD were you're room is messy...it's like nesting, you have high levels of anxiety and you build a nest like a crow. -E. #OCD #anxietyproblems #weirdshitmykidssay #theofficewannabe #funnyquotes #weirddaughters

[weird shit my kids say @weirddaughters]

What's the plural for penis? -E. #weirdquestions #kidssaythedarndestthings #thebirdsandbees #inappropriate #conversations