A

[A @well_ally]

I both threw a pocket bible in the garbage and explained the plot of Human Centipede to some Mormons today. #wwjd #heavenhereicome

[A @well_ally]

@yomichaeldean I hate that I laughed at this.

[A @well_ally]

Let me just say that even if Biden wins, the fact that it was close (& that we can still elect McConnells and Grahams) is fucking unforgivable.

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

The Year 2020 as told by Arrested Development

[Josh Gad @joshgad]

To the 35,000 people taking time out of their days to write HBO to tell them to reshoot Game of Thrones u don’t like the arc of the lady riding a dragon, how about you use some of that energy to write officials to tell them to stop forcing women to have a rapists’ baby

[Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett]

Making abortion illegal does not prevent abortion. It kills women.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography

[A @well_ally]

Its been 165 days since I placed an order from @printyourpet and by the time I receive it, my pet will probably be dead. #foreverwaiting

[A @well_ally]

Hey @JeffFlake you are a fucking coward.

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

Just realised the opposite of Alec Baldwin is Alec Hairloss

[A @well_ally]

So now that I'm a graduated veterinarian, where do I go to learn "life skills" or "street smarts?"

[A @well_ally]

@harmoniumradio ohhhh fuccckkk I tweeted too soon about what my spirit animal is.

[A @well_ally]

My spirit animal is the one wind turbine in the field that isn't turning.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

It's hard for me to commit when everyone I love is 70% water

[Arkady @ArkadyKoshka]

Happy International Women’s Day

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

(Me trying to explain the internet to a time traveler from the past) ummmmmm it's an invisible store where you can call the president a cunt

[Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr_DrinksOnMe]

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum. They're the Tolkien white guys.

[Strange Animals @Strange_Animals]

The bearded tit.

(Photo: David Drangsland)

[A @well_ally]

@harmoniumradio Don't be silly; you have a long life of skinny dipping ahead of you.

[Amanda Brooke Perrin @brookeperrin]

WE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS WE JUST WANTED EQUAL PAY https://t.co/Rz2k8cqH2k

[Frank Lesser @sadmonsters]

That awkwardly symbolic moment when you're a dude in your underwear who thinks the Women's March is cheering for you, but they're actually cheering for Supergirl two fire escapes above